Tuesday, July 26, 2005

A $20 Journey

It’s funny how things work out... okay, I started with $0.

  • Received $20 from red pocket money --> +$20
  • Bought 2 Old Navy t-shirts (1 for me, 1 for Alan) 2 for $20 --> -$20
  • Alan paid me back --> +$10
  • Bought dinner from Famosa --> -$5
  • Bought 2 Vita Lemon Tea juice boxes (1 for me, 1 for Neil) --> -$2.50

... to summarize, I only have $2.50 right now. This is where the neat things happen:

  • Went to a dinner at Albert L’s & Brian paid my share because I didn’t have enough $ --> $0
  • Brought lunch to church & ate dinner at home --> $0
  • Went to dinner w/ Jason & Jordan (today after meeting), Jason treated (but we’ll pay him back the next time around) --> $0
  • Was waiting for a bus after dinner, when a very tall white guy asked me for the time and if I had change for a $10 to take the bus. I gave him the $2.50 (exact amount for bus fare) --> -$2.50
    He wanted to give me the $10 bill he had in exchange for my change, but I refused. He then took out a $1 American bill and tried to give it to me, but said I said not to worry and to simply do something nice for a stranger when he gets a chance (Pay it Forward!).
  • “I am from Europe and no one there is like this. You’re a very kind person, thank you.” --> priceless.

His comment made my day... yes, I’m at $0 again, but who knows what wonderful things this man can do when he’s in a good mood also. ^_^

Monday, July 25, 2005

take me on Your wings & fly

Well, I’m leaving for Nicaragua soon (Aug 5, 4am)... and to be brutally honest, underneath the calm cool surface, I’m petrified inside!!

What if I screw something up?
What if I’m the cause of someone turning away from God?
What if I get lost or lose my luggage?
What if someone steals my passport?
What if someone gets hurt? Or worse, DIE?
What if someone gets sick or contracts a disease?
What if something happens on the flight?

... ugh... what if I’m not ready to go? What if it’s not my time to go on missions yet? How was it that I was so confident in this being God’s will for me before and now I’m swamped with doubt? Get away from me, Satan! STOP FILLING MY HEAD WITH UNCERTAINTY!

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My uncle Francis on my dad’s side of the family pledged $100 cdn for me to go on this trip... as you have heard from previous blogs, I’m not super close to my dad’s side. I’m so encouraged to see him making an effort to support me... it gives me comfort that this may well be God’s will... but in the back of my mind, I sometimes wonder if doing this because he supports me and this trip, or if it is done out of guilt because this family had once deserted my nuclear family when we were having problems...
I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. =o) Thank you, Uncle Francis.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

waves of bitter water

For those who visit my blog often:
The blog that had come and gone has done more harm than good, which explains its sudden disappearance. In my resentment, I wrote that blog for no better reason other than sheer selfish entertainment and attention. I shouldn’t have left it open to the public because the situation involved more than myself. My friends, thank you for your concern. I know it takes a lot of effort to ask me about certain sensitive topics. I realize how much damage a little venting could do...

Which brings me to the main point: Think before you speak.

That goes for me also, of course. This quote has been said everywhere and by everyone one point in time... but its simplicity may be the cause of its unsuccessfulness.
Who knows what ripples our words can cause in another’s tranquil surface?

My heart is breaking for any of you who I have hurt unknowingly... I’m so sorry... please tell me so I can change my ignorant ways.