just one too many

How many times do “coincidences” need to happen before you stop and say, “wait, that's way too many coincidences at once – something's up...”


For this blog, I'll say that number is 11.


Going backwards, this is the result of the 11 coincidences: The direction/focus that EMC wants to go with the English congregation is affirmed. At least, affirmed to me. =)


Here is what happened...


1)Ultimate frisbee game had to happen before 9pm (otherwise I wouldn't sub).. game was at 8pm

2)Couldn't use my bro's car to drive to the game myself (he made other plans)

3)Couldn't get ride from Alvin (he had family plans and wasn't playing) and no one on the team lived anywhere close to me so no one offered a ride (womp womp)

4)I had to switch my nursery shift from Feb 10 to Feb 17 (switch was requested by Doret) in order to have a conversation with Lawrence about subbing for my ultimate team called Goodies the next day (today) and I couldn't find a ride

5)Lawrence was also subbing for Goodies. For the record, he didn't sub once in my earlier season with Goodies. Anyway, he so graciously offered me a ride despite going very out of his way (thanks Lawrence!)

6)An email was 2 hours delayed... an email which contained someone else offering to pick me up from home to drive me to the game (I “blame” Wind Mobile for this delay)

7)The delay forced me to subway to Lawrence/Linda's place where a meaningful conversation about Midsize Group (MG) and sermon topics began (had I received noted email 10min earlier; i.e. Before I left my house, I wouldn't have met up w/ Lawrence/Linda before the game at all)

8)MG met today in the afternoon and the focus is on sermon content as it relates to the English Mission Statement: Cultivating a Community that Fully Responds to God (this MG focus was agreed upon by the 4 small groups a month ago that MG should be more aligned w/ the church direction)

9)The conversation which started in the Wong house, continued in the car ride to the ultimate frisbee game (I'm quite confident that if Linda didn't ask me first specifically, what is MG doing, I wouldn't have brought up the recent sermon scriptures/topics... and if MG didn't happen this afternoon, I would've forgotten)

10)After the game, Lawrence drove me home and I had the opportunity to hear what he and his small group needed from ET (In summary: ET lacks basic knowledge of scripture and general spiritual disciplines)

11)Three other small groups independently came to this same conclusion last month...


You may think I may have had other opportunities to talk to Lawrence/Linda, but no, I likely wouldn't have spoken to them before the EMC Meeting (Mar 1) because I'm out of town from Feb 22-25... which means, I wouldn't be as fired up about this church direction affirmation and wouldn't push for how much ETCBC NEEDS spiritual discipline to incorporated into the church direction.


We need to go back to the heart scriptures and it needs to happen at the pulpit.

Coincidences? I think not.   God has His wheels in motion and we just got on board. =)

Day 1

November 24, 2012 - approx 3:50pm




Albert Kong  vs  Julie Cho



Event: Sprinting - Foot Race



Distance: length of ETCBC



Witness: Vivian Lo



……………………………………



It was a tough battle to the end… but there’s always a winner.



THE VICTOR: JULIE CHO



…………………………………….



Today marks a new era for Albert Kong. For the first time, Julie has beaten Albert in a sprint race - a milestone in their friendship worthy of reviving this blog.



……………………………………



Am I publicizing this achievement to applaud my physical prowess?



Nay.



I am merely recording this day as Day 1 of Albert’s training in attempts to reclaim his once glorified title as “faster than Julie.”

here fishy fishy

I recently watched the massacre of the fish Janet caught, killed, and ate... and I thought to myself... damn, I'd hate to be that fish.

Even though I can't swim, I somehow managed to picture myself as a random fish just swimming around in the lake, nibbling on algae and hangin' out in the school... (ha – pun intended)

Today, however, something came into my sight... something new... something gorgeous... something strangely enticing... A DELICIOUS WORM!! Word on the street was that the Worm was probably the best thing on the water menu. The. Best. Thing. Ever. It presumably put the algae diet to SHAME.

There is also a rumour that surrounds the consumption of the Worm... apparently, eating it is a risk. Apparently those who've tasted the Worm either loved it and became obsessed with it... or they were to never be seen again. Strange. I don't know anyone personally who's tried it though. How bad can it be?

To make a long story short, I basically took the risk and engulfed the Worm... and it blew my mind. Literally. To my surprise, the inside of the Worm was a metal spear that penetrated through my jaw and forced into my brain. It didn't hurt... I only felt a surge of coldness permeate every inch of my body... the next thing I knew, I was suffocated, beaten, had my skin ripped off, all my insides pulled out and was burned. That was the end of it – the end of me.

...humm... this story can take many forms and teach many different life lessons... but for today, this will be mine: listen to the advice of others and look before you leap because not everything needs to be learned the hard way. If what you're chasing after is something truly good for you, then proceeding with caution shouldn't cause it to go away; it should only delay it... but the delay will only make that good thing taste even sweeter.

10%

On my way home today, I decided to go for a walk in a nearby park... this walk evolved into an uncomfortably-reflective, self-analyzing confrontation of Julie 2010 by Julie 2011.

My mind flooded with fond memories of family and friends, career goals achieved, decisions made, regrets, relationships that have come and gone, lessons learned, sports teams... but for this entry, I will only speak to one of them: Giving.

The reason for this thought stemmed from Misa's sermon on Sunday, which lead to a discussion within my small group (L3), both talking about tithing. We plunged into a taboo dialogue that I believe - and hope – will leave me changed forever.

Giving the church 10% of your income. What do you think about that?

You're probably wondering, does Julie tithe that amount? – shamefully I will admit no, I don't. Perhaps not yet. But if you were to ask me, how much money I donated to charities, gave to those in need, used to buy food and snacks for the church and others, I will confidently say well more than 10% of my gross. Now here is my so-called “excuse” for not tithing the “proper amount”: I don't know how “the church” defined. Is it the building? Is it the gathering of people? Is it wherever worship happens?

I believe the church is more than just the building – it's people. “Giving to the church,” to me, means using our blessings – whether material wealth, skills/talents, time, energy, resources – to express love to others. Mind you, I'm coming from a mentality that says all material things here on earth will never really belong to me. All this stuff I have, it's God's stuff, I'm just taking care of it for now. So, quite frankly, what makes me more entitled to this stuff than the next guy?

That being said, if everything I have isn't really mine, then why not share?

Imagine... a world where everyone shared everything they had for the well-being of one another. We were taught sharing is caring as children... what happened? When did our toys become ours to conceal? When did we learn greed?

Disclaimer: I'm not saying that people who don't tithe or donate or whatever are greedy people.

My point is this... it's not about how much money you give to the church or to charities... it's not about what financial status you're in that dictates what you can give... heck, it's not even about the Bible saying we should give back 10% of our earnings... it's about where your heart is. Are you giving happily and graciously? Or are you giving it reluctantly and grudgingly? I'm sure if you were to grudgingly give your own parents money for whatever, they wouldn't want it. In the same way, I'm sure God doesn't want that money either. He doesn't want your money; He wants your heart.

I think the Bible asking us to give 10% is sooooo little in comparison to what is actually owed! And it's not just 10% of income, I think it's 10% of everything we have...! The act of giving income is probably to get us in a habit of giving regularly and simply being generous people. Perhaps we can look at tithing as teaching tool, if you will.

Or maybe I'm just a communist. Whatever it is, I think we as a wealthy nation, just needs to give more... and love it. =)

the funniest Comedian

is God. Quit playing games with my heart, Man. Too many tests makes Julie crazy... not sure if I'm at the same level as Job. (Although... If I were God, screwing around w/ the situation I'm in would be pretty hilarious.)

living on the edge... not.

I have a fear of rejection and it's ruining the person I think/thought I am/was.

Bam.

You know what the kicker is about rejection? It's the fact that a piece of you gets lost in the self-inflected vulnerability and that piece is irrecoverable. Gone - forever. And that to me sucks big time. I like the person I think I am... and a lot of that has to do with the level of confidence that allows me to be genuine in front of others. People act and think differently before they get rejected and act/think even more differently afterwards. So, when there's a potential for rejection, backing-off immediately to avoid the risk of losing one's identity seems to be natural, right?

Potential Rejection --> Avoidance --> Get over it --> Not Rejected --> Happiness

Being a risk avoider has its benefits, especially when a logic-dominant person like myself is faced with emotions. Stupid emotions. They don't make any sense and they fluctuate constantly without reason and yet, so many people (myself included on occasion) make life-changing decisions based solely on them. Stupid.

So anyway, I'm currently in the Pre-Potential Rejection phase. The risk: to-break or not-to-break the “we're just friends” code... the “I have a crush on a friend but I don't want to risk losing the friendship so I'm just not going to act on these so-called feelings and get over it.” Let the record show (again as I've said it before on this blog), that I have NEVER come close to liking a close friend. Ever. The reason why I say I'm Pre-Potential is because this strange attraction is so foreign, so weird and awkward that... the idea of me even being attracted to a buddy freaks the shit out of me and thus it's difficult for me to decipher if it's even a crush at all! Maybe it's nothing. Maybe I'm just feeling the effects of everyone around me hooking up and getting married and having kids and that this dude would be a good catch. I don't know...

At this point, I just want someone to tell me he likes someone else or that he will only ever see me as a platonic friend. Just say it... just tell me that's how it is. Save me the trouble of trying to get over whatever it is I'm feeling and just strip me of any hope for something more. I don't want it... I don't want false hope... I don't want to over-analyze small encounters... I don't want to risk the friendship and I don't want things to change.

Our friendship is so good... too good to take the risk and mess it up because of stupid feelings. I guess at the end of the day, I'm happier not knowing what it could've been...

cards

I was a heartbeat away from throwing away every Christmas/Birthday/Valentine/Thank You/Christian/Friendship card I've ever received for the sake of removing clutter. But when I looked down at the poorly ripped envelopes, colourful edges and shimmery fonts, something made me stop. I picked up a random card and read it... it was probably the 3^rd time it was ever read.

1^st by the person who wrote it for me

2^nd by me once it was received

3^rd by me today.

Then THAT feeling came. You know, that feeling after you've secretly wronged someone and it's too late to fix it... that feeling after stuffing down a 2^nd helping of dessert even though you're no longer enjoying its taste... that feeling after breaking a promise after you said you wouldn't break it...

Guilt.

I felt guilty for neglecting these cards for so many years and feeling guilty for not feeling guilty about wanting them “out of sight” for another long extended period of time. As so, I sat down and picked up another card... then another... and then another... I re-read every single one. It took about 2 hours. Some of them dated back to the 90's while I was in elementary school!

Through the quirky inside jokes, the one-line generic messages, stick figures and gel pens, what hit me the most was how some of these people – at one point in my life – were one of my closest friends. And now they don't exist as contacts on my cell. Such a shame. There are many lost memories and significant people in my life who've helped shape me into this AMAZINGLY WONDEFUL AND SEXY GODESS... who I feel like I owe so much to... who would not have otherwise triggered a single recent thought had I not attempt to throw out the card they wrote me. Does this make me a heartless bitch? Maybe. But tell me, when's the last time you went through your cards, hum?

Along with the cards, there were hand-written letters, vandalised agendas, old love notes, handbooks, tickets, postcards, IOUs and home-made redeemable “coupons”, amongst other things... thus I would like to take this time to thank the following people:

Helen Lam – for writing me the most letters

Hazel Tenefrancia and Asako Ito – for giving me the most cards

Jonathan Robbins – for writing the funniest messages

Samantha King – for being my casual penpal for years

There's so much to write about when it comes to the past, but I'll stop here for now. 2011 is here and it's waiting for some attention.

Julie Cho's 2011 New Years Resolutions:

1. Cook more

2. Floss more regularly

3. Attend every prayer meeting so long as I'm in town

4. Learn to swim (preferably before May)

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!! =D