These “tag games” remind me of chain letters... But because I have no life, I’ll play along.
5 random facts about me:
1. The only thing that has ever made me lose my appetite (that I can remember) is seeing some very slutty, hairy, cross-dressing men on Jerry Springer.
2. I can’t cook anything other than breakfast food and instant things. Even when I fry pre-made dumplings, or heat spoon-n-bake cookies (right, Sam?), I somehow screw them up half the time. OH, and this one time, when I was really young, my brother and I burnt something really badly and all this smoke started coming out of the pot. So, remembering what we saw on those educational videos, we put the lid on and crawled out of the house on our stomachs... seeing how the thin layer of smoke against the ceiling could have killed us and all...
3. One of my past “goals” in life, before I became Christian, was to turn a gay man straight... somehow... o_O
4. I’ve been punched in the crotch so hard, that their fist penetrated my pelvic bone to the point where I was on the ground for a few minutes in pain... yeah, you don’t think stuff like this happens to girls... but apparently, they do.
5. Back in the day, in my old house, my brother and I would make a whole bunch of tents with our blankets and sticks. One time, we connected all the blankets and my mother walked into a living-room of tents... it was great. ^__^
Five people I would like to do this: Ken Leung, Sam Wong, Selina Wong, Willie Loo, Hazel Tenafrancia (I hope I spelt your last name correctly... o_O)... Richard Tsang, I believe you were tagged also, I want to see some things I don't know about you.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Friday, October 28, 2005
a royal pain
Someone once asked me, “why is your blog name: minutes to sanity?”
Well, to put the answer plainly, I thought I’d be ranting on about the things I like/dislike on it and that would, in effect, lower my insanity level... therefore, with each post, I become one step closer to being "sane"... whatever that means. o_O
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I overheard a girl telling her boyfriend (or husband or possibly brother) she saw a certain coat. She talked about how it was too expensive for her to buy it herself... how it was somewhat unnecessary... how much she wanted it, but couldn’t afford it since she has a low-paying job (apparently). Eventually, after saying a few times, “oh no, I don’t want you to spend so much money on me,” she allowed him to buy her the coat.
These types of girls piss me off. Dang princesses.
Even if you don’t mind paying and you consider $50 bills as loose change, you shouldn’t have to tolerate this kind of materialisticness. That’s just plain selfish on the girl’s part. By buying these “gifts”, you’re spoiling them and fencing them in their own acquisitive behavior. Don’t be stupid; show them how to appreciate what they already have. (Note: I’m being gender-specific because it’s easier to type... I know the roles could be switched in reality, but I believe this way is more common.)
The only thing I think is okay to ask for is food. But not like fancy expensive food, I mean the cheap stuff. Why? Because:
1. You’re more likely to be genuinely “in need” if you couldn’t even afford cheap food and you’re humble enough to ask for something that cheap.
2. Food is a life essential; if they don’t eat; it’ll affect their health, and what good is having a starving girlfriend?
3. It’s easy to repay and to return the favor. If you’re really that poor, you could cook food that’s around for them as your sign of your gratitude... whereas, if they bought you a LuLu Lemon coat, you couldn’t sew up another one as “compensation”.
4. Food leads to waiting... waiting leads to talking... talking leads to knowledge of the other person (and from there, it could go either way: good or bad)... and that leads to touching. *heh heh* (j/k... well, in certain cases it does... o_O)
So, to all you princesses (male and female) out there: back off, get your own _______! (please fill in blank with materialistic goods)
Well, to put the answer plainly, I thought I’d be ranting on about the things I like/dislike on it and that would, in effect, lower my insanity level... therefore, with each post, I become one step closer to being "sane"... whatever that means. o_O
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I overheard a girl telling her boyfriend (or husband or possibly brother) she saw a certain coat. She talked about how it was too expensive for her to buy it herself... how it was somewhat unnecessary... how much she wanted it, but couldn’t afford it since she has a low-paying job (apparently). Eventually, after saying a few times, “oh no, I don’t want you to spend so much money on me,” she allowed him to buy her the coat.
These types of girls piss me off. Dang princesses.
Even if you don’t mind paying and you consider $50 bills as loose change, you shouldn’t have to tolerate this kind of materialisticness. That’s just plain selfish on the girl’s part. By buying these “gifts”, you’re spoiling them and fencing them in their own acquisitive behavior. Don’t be stupid; show them how to appreciate what they already have. (Note: I’m being gender-specific because it’s easier to type... I know the roles could be switched in reality, but I believe this way is more common.)
The only thing I think is okay to ask for is food. But not like fancy expensive food, I mean the cheap stuff. Why? Because:
1. You’re more likely to be genuinely “in need” if you couldn’t even afford cheap food and you’re humble enough to ask for something that cheap.
2. Food is a life essential; if they don’t eat; it’ll affect their health, and what good is having a starving girlfriend?
3. It’s easy to repay and to return the favor. If you’re really that poor, you could cook food that’s around for them as your sign of your gratitude... whereas, if they bought you a LuLu Lemon coat, you couldn’t sew up another one as “compensation”.
4. Food leads to waiting... waiting leads to talking... talking leads to knowledge of the other person (and from there, it could go either way: good or bad)... and that leads to touching. *heh heh* (j/k... well, in certain cases it does... o_O)
So, to all you princesses (male and female) out there: back off, get your own _______! (please fill in blank with materialistic goods)
Thursday, October 27, 2005
you there, with the coat
To the mysterious guy at Tim Hortin's/Wendy’s (Midland/Steeles),
Who are you?
You stood there at the Wendy’s doorway and didn’t come in. I saw you... and looked at you a few times because I thought I recognized you. You were looking in my direction for a while, but you didn’t come inside. In fact, by the 3rd time I looked up, you ran away... literally... I didn’t have my glasses on, so your face is a blur. (I had too much pride to wave to you, or put on my glasses and look at you again... probably thought I was checking you out if I did.)
I’m not saying I was being checked out or anything, I was just observing my surroundings. Maybe you were looking my way because I was looking at you? I was probably squinting to try to get my eyes to focus.
Anyway, if I do know you, message me! I know... “What are the chances?!” ~shrug~ BUT if you’re a slim, medium-height, Oriental-looking guy with a royal blue coat that did all that stuff I said above last night, and you know me; communicate to me!
(Although this post sounds like a dating service thing... I CAN ASSURE YOU, IT’S NOT!! Just my curiosity has peeked in this matter... so forgive me as to what this may sound like.)
Who are you?
You stood there at the Wendy’s doorway and didn’t come in. I saw you... and looked at you a few times because I thought I recognized you. You were looking in my direction for a while, but you didn’t come inside. In fact, by the 3rd time I looked up, you ran away... literally... I didn’t have my glasses on, so your face is a blur. (I had too much pride to wave to you, or put on my glasses and look at you again... probably thought I was checking you out if I did.)
I’m not saying I was being checked out or anything, I was just observing my surroundings. Maybe you were looking my way because I was looking at you? I was probably squinting to try to get my eyes to focus.
Anyway, if I do know you, message me! I know... “What are the chances?!” ~shrug~ BUT if you’re a slim, medium-height, Oriental-looking guy with a royal blue coat that did all that stuff I said above last night, and you know me; communicate to me!
(Although this post sounds like a dating service thing... I CAN ASSURE YOU, IT’S NOT!! Just my curiosity has peeked in this matter... so forgive me as to what this may sound like.)
how about you PING THIS!
I recently realized that repetitive noises drive me insane.
Like yesterday, when I was on the Steeles [E] bus (a lot of things happen on the bus for me because I spend an average of 410 minutes on them per week… o_O), I was sitting in the first row of double-seats after a long day of class; heading towards Timmy’s to study some more. In front of me was a divider that separates the double seats w/ the 3-“for old people”-seats that face the other direction.
Anyway, there was this brown girl (I say “brown” for descriptive purposes only) who looked like she was 16, yakking away on her cell phone. I don’t mind people talking on their cell phones... it gives me something to focus on (*ha ha* j/k). What I DID mind was that she put her boney-long-fingernailed hands on the divider – which again, was in front of me – and started flicking the metal pole. Over and over again... ping ping ping ping ping...
Out of courtesy, I was going to (kindly) ask her to stop after she was done talking on her cell... but by time I got to Leslie, I was ready to smack her hands so hard her fingernails would cry.
She didn’t put the phone down for a second. So, halfway through the ride (around Woodbine), I decided to pretend I was sleeping and “accidentally” let go of my umbrella and have it hit her hands. *heh heh* >=o) I executed my plan...
I missed.
It landed on the floor. Crap. And thus, she continued... flicking away at the pole for the rest of the 50 minute ride... from Finch Station, all the way to Midland...
Like yesterday, when I was on the Steeles [E] bus (a lot of things happen on the bus for me because I spend an average of 410 minutes on them per week… o_O), I was sitting in the first row of double-seats after a long day of class; heading towards Timmy’s to study some more. In front of me was a divider that separates the double seats w/ the 3-“for old people”-seats that face the other direction.
Anyway, there was this brown girl (I say “brown” for descriptive purposes only) who looked like she was 16, yakking away on her cell phone. I don’t mind people talking on their cell phones... it gives me something to focus on (*ha ha* j/k). What I DID mind was that she put her boney-long-fingernailed hands on the divider – which again, was in front of me – and started flicking the metal pole. Over and over again... ping ping ping ping ping...
Out of courtesy, I was going to (kindly) ask her to stop after she was done talking on her cell... but by time I got to Leslie, I was ready to smack her hands so hard her fingernails would cry.
She didn’t put the phone down for a second. So, halfway through the ride (around Woodbine), I decided to pretend I was sleeping and “accidentally” let go of my umbrella and have it hit her hands. *heh heh* >=o) I executed my plan...
I missed.
It landed on the floor. Crap. And thus, she continued... flicking away at the pole for the rest of the 50 minute ride... from Finch Station, all the way to Midland...
Sunday, October 23, 2005
inhale garbage
To the right is a picture of a hairy tongue caused by poor mouth hygiene and smoking. (yes, I had to get the grossest picture I could find...)I think smoking is a very selfish habit/lifestyle. You’re basically saying, “I know it can do damage to me and the people around me, but I don’t care.”
People who whine and explain how they can’t quit and say how many times they’ve tried but failed... basically mean they didn’t try hard enough. I’ve heard stories of old men who’ve been smoking longer than I’ve been alive, and they can quit!
Every cigarette package has pictures of tar-ridden organs and harmful smoking facts... so not many people can say they don’t know its effects. Well, here is some information that should make one think twice about smoking:
1. Money Stats
- Tobacco accounts for over $9.56 billion in healthcare costs and lost of productivity in Canada
- In Ontario, the direct and indirect components of smoking-related costs are estimated to be US$2.91 billion. Associated with these economic costs are health-related harms: 69,318 hospital separations; 1,007,647 days stay in hospitals; 11,648 deaths resulting in more than 171,443 person-years lost.
- If instead of smoking 2 packs per day for 50 years, you could have had an estimated $1,000,000 if you invested it in a major tobacco company
- The average cost of treating squamous cell carcinoma of the head and neck (a cancer caused almost exclusively by smoking ) is $25,542 more than the cost of treating other comparable solid tumors
2. Smoker Stats
- Smokers will die an average of over 12 years sooner than non-smokers
- Over 90% of laryngeal cancers are caused by smoking
- Smoking causes 87% of all lung cancer cases
- Smoking is a major factor in impotence
- Tobacco use has been associated with premature aging and skin wrinkling
- Each year, smoking kills more people than AIDS, alcohol, drug abuse, car crashes, murders, suicides, and fires---combined!
- Smoking has been implicated in the risk of diabetes, obesity and mental retardation in the newborn
- Tobacco kills as many Americans as in all our wars combined. Over 1,000,000,000 people. Tobacco kills that many every 3 years!
3. Secondhand Smoke Stats
- An estimated 35,000 to 40,000 deaths from heart disease in people who are not current smokers (US only). Exposure to passive smoke can increase your risk of heart disease by 50%
- About 3,000 lung cancer deaths in nonsmoking adults.
- Other respiratory problems caused by smoking in nonsmokers include: Coughing, phlegm, chest discomfort, and reduced lung function
- 150,000 to 300,000 lower respiratory tract infections (such as pneumonia and bronchitis) in children younger than 18 months of age, which result in 7,500 to 15,000 hospitalizations
- Increased number and severity of asthma attacks in about 200,000 to 1 million asthmatic children
4. If you quit stats
- After 20 minutes your heart rate slows
- After 12 hours the carbon monoxide in your blood returns to a normal level
- Between 2 weeks to 3 months your lung functions improve and your risk of heart attacks declines
- Between 1 to 9 months your coughing and shortness of breath reduces
- After 1 year your risk of a heart attack in one half that of a smoker's
- Between 5 to 15 years your risk of stroke is the same as someone who does not smoke
- After 10 years your risk of lung cancer is one half that of a smoker's
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The best way to quit is to set a date and quit cold-turkey.
“If there’s a will, there’s a way.”
(Reference: http://www.tobacco-facts.info/ <-- I was going to source, but I got lazy.)
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Chonovations
I was sitting in the back of the bus on my way to fellowship, when I realized how many more people we could fit on a bus if everyone was standing. And then I saw that usually 73% of everyone who takes the bus is more than capable of standing the entire trip [note: statistics may be inaccurate]. After that, I began thinking of practical bus designs... I will call my creation: The Chomobile. (yes, I ocassionally like to name things after myself... =oP)
But before I explain my design, I want to note a few things:
- The Chomobile is only meant for heavy people-traffic times/places – like during rush hour or going to popular locations (i.e. the CNE, universities at "perk" hours, etc.)
- If everyone stands, they’d burn more calories and thus, we’ll have a healthier nation! (To a certain extent anyway)
- Since almost everyone is standing, there wouldn’t be as many people who cut into the lines to get seats... and even if they do, those who were budded wouldn't care as much since there isn’t a lot to run after.
Okay, time to explain the design (following the green numbers labeled):
1. All those thin-table-looking things are ledges for people to put their bags or backpacks on while standing. People could also prop their kids on them if they’d like, but generally, adults wouldn’t do such a thing on a packed bus.
2. There are a bunch of seats in the front reserved for seniors, the less-physically capable people and pregnant women. I believe the drivers should do their best to enforce such deeds (on the Chomobile and on buses today). I noticed that there aren’t too many seniors who take the bus and those who do, sometimes prefer standing. Like this one time, I offered my seat to an elderly lady (because I was sitting next to her husband and there were no other seats left) and she didn’t respond to me. In fact, she turned to her husband, who again was sitting beside me, and said, “I just hate it when people offer their seat to me... What, do they think I’m old?!” o_O Now I'm scarred.
3. That’s a sample pole. Clearly, there will be more placed around the aisles if the Chomobile is actually made. And they will have the “Request Stop” buttons on them like the buses now have for easy, awesome stopping convenience.
4. Say goodbye to “Litter Here” labels with NO place to put our trash in on today’s buses! Introducing the new and improved on-the-bus garbage can! Wow, how did I think of this one... *heh heh*
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If I ever think of more inventions/innovations, I’ll be sure to post them. I had a lot more before I discovered they’ve already been invented... like my tear-away underwear for fast and efficient removal (for whatever reasons people need to remove their undies quickly... o_O)! Or my 2-in-1 pen and roll-on whiteout for those with small pencil cases and can’t fit everything! And my bite-sized deep-fried mini-cake bowls filled with ice cream (I wanted this to be my “signature dessert”... but I don’t think it’ll happen. -_-“)!
But anyway, that’s enough about that. Why am I still awake?! ...aw, who’s online at 5am??
Thursday, October 13, 2005
the jerk update
After so many times of admitting to my gullibleness, it has come back to bite me in the ass again.
The other guys paid and are off the hook EXCEPT this one guy who only paid $60 for the whole time he’s been here.
This is what happened:
He has no money whatsoever. He has nothing but his passport, a change of clothing, a broken TV and VCR, bed sheets and a laptop. He owed us $320. He said there’s a buyer for his laptop and that he was going to sell it for $400, giving us $250 (since he claimed he’d need more money to “survive” when he left) and paying the rest later. He offered to sign a contract with all his information and stating that he would owe us the money within the next 3 months.
This morning at 10am, the buyer was supposed to come by to purchase the laptop. We had kept the laptop overnight incase he decided to take off on us. I was awake at 8am because I needed to study for a quiz at 11:30am. So the guy rings the doorbell and asks me to bring the laptop down so he can check things before the buyer came. I go down with the laptop and he begins to take it out of the case, plugging it in and starting it up. I tell him that I’m going to get my sister down to take care of everything, since I had to leave my house soon and she is responsible for handling the rent money.
I go upstairs and wake my sister up. She’s up and downstairs about 10 minutes after I had come up. He was gone. HE LEFT!! THAT ANAL PASSAGE LEFT!! THAT LYING, SELFISH, EVIL, DECEPTIVE PISS-OFF LEFT!!
I let my guard down for 10 minutes and I cost my mother $320 plus the agony she was put through over the past month because of this guy... ARGG!! Some daughter I am, eh?
Every person I talked to said I shouldn’t have left it with the guy... every single person. Let me tell you, it feels pretty crappy to hear this over and over again because I knew that fact way before anyone had to say it to me aloud. I get it people, I screwed up. I messed this crap up and I know it; just get off my case because there’s nothing I can do now but beat myself up inside for doing it. What I hate about this situation most is that I believed him... I believed everything he said he was going to do until I found out he screwed us over... -_-“ How do I change that?
The other guys paid and are off the hook EXCEPT this one guy who only paid $60 for the whole time he’s been here.
This is what happened:
He has no money whatsoever. He has nothing but his passport, a change of clothing, a broken TV and VCR, bed sheets and a laptop. He owed us $320. He said there’s a buyer for his laptop and that he was going to sell it for $400, giving us $250 (since he claimed he’d need more money to “survive” when he left) and paying the rest later. He offered to sign a contract with all his information and stating that he would owe us the money within the next 3 months.
This morning at 10am, the buyer was supposed to come by to purchase the laptop. We had kept the laptop overnight incase he decided to take off on us. I was awake at 8am because I needed to study for a quiz at 11:30am. So the guy rings the doorbell and asks me to bring the laptop down so he can check things before the buyer came. I go down with the laptop and he begins to take it out of the case, plugging it in and starting it up. I tell him that I’m going to get my sister down to take care of everything, since I had to leave my house soon and she is responsible for handling the rent money.
I go upstairs and wake my sister up. She’s up and downstairs about 10 minutes after I had come up. He was gone. HE LEFT!! THAT ANAL PASSAGE LEFT!! THAT LYING, SELFISH, EVIL, DECEPTIVE PISS-OFF LEFT!!
I let my guard down for 10 minutes and I cost my mother $320 plus the agony she was put through over the past month because of this guy... ARGG!! Some daughter I am, eh?
Every person I talked to said I shouldn’t have left it with the guy... every single person. Let me tell you, it feels pretty crappy to hear this over and over again because I knew that fact way before anyone had to say it to me aloud. I get it people, I screwed up. I messed this crap up and I know it; just get off my case because there’s nothing I can do now but beat myself up inside for doing it. What I hate about this situation most is that I believed him... I believed everything he said he was going to do until I found out he screwed us over... -_-“ How do I change that?
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
"hungry, I come to you..."
Remember when I went to Nicaragua?
Well, to make a long story short --> the houses we had started are now FINISHED!
WOOT WOOT!
It’s such an amazing thing to be apart of... I urge you to go on one of these trips if you ever get the chance. You won’t regret it. Even if you’re eating beans every day and you hate beans; you’d still have a great time! ^__^
Oh, and I just discovered the “add pictures” button! Now my blogs can have a new and exciting dynamic to them! OoooOOoOOo. (Easily amused, I am.)
One more thing. Today was the first day in ages that I voluntarily watched TV... and of all the things I watched, it was a World Vision child sponsoring documentary-type thing. My goodness, I cried my eyes out. Now I’m seriously considering sponsoring a child. But since I have $0 income... I’ll have to contemplate as to how this will be funded.
God doesn’t reveal to me enough, just how blessed I really am.
Monday, October 10, 2005
stupid jerks - piss me off
There are 3 guys (jerks, if you will) who rented my basement last month. Only one of them has paid for this month, the other 2 have not. My sister who have been dealing with them didn’t get them to put down a deposit before they moved in because she “trusted” them... then these stupid jerks brings another friend to stay, so now there are 4 --> 3 of whom have not paid.
They smoke in the house after my mom continuously tells them not to. They leave lights on all the time. They washed 2 face towels in the washing machine under the “delicate” cycle. They invite friends to stay overnight. They go into our garage and messes things around. They’re loud and irresponsible. But most of all, THEY DON’T PAY THE RENT!
The way we have been operating with people who rent the basement thus far has been too relaxed. We don’t ask them so sign any contracts or anything so we don’t have any legal documents stating that they pay such an amount at such and such a time.
WHAT DO WE DO?! We want to kick them out, but how? Move all their stuff out into the lawn while they’re gone and change the locks? (<-- That’s what I suggested.) We’ve already told them to leave but there seems to be no signs of movement.
Does anyone know if we have a legal case? My mom says the “police” people always back up the renters; not the homeowners. Is that true? I don’t believe so because there are too many iffy situations to make a general claim like that, but she seems confident enough to not threaten to sue them. Can we sue them for trespassing? How do we get the rent money and have them leave?
The longer they stay, the longer their free-loading grows. PLEASE give us some advice!
What jerks. >=o(
They smoke in the house after my mom continuously tells them not to. They leave lights on all the time. They washed 2 face towels in the washing machine under the “delicate” cycle. They invite friends to stay overnight. They go into our garage and messes things around. They’re loud and irresponsible. But most of all, THEY DON’T PAY THE RENT!
The way we have been operating with people who rent the basement thus far has been too relaxed. We don’t ask them so sign any contracts or anything so we don’t have any legal documents stating that they pay such an amount at such and such a time.
WHAT DO WE DO?! We want to kick them out, but how? Move all their stuff out into the lawn while they’re gone and change the locks? (<-- That’s what I suggested.) We’ve already told them to leave but there seems to be no signs of movement.
Does anyone know if we have a legal case? My mom says the “police” people always back up the renters; not the homeowners. Is that true? I don’t believe so because there are too many iffy situations to make a general claim like that, but she seems confident enough to not threaten to sue them. Can we sue them for trespassing? How do we get the rent money and have them leave?
The longer they stay, the longer their free-loading grows. PLEASE give us some advice!
What jerks. >=o(
Sunday, October 09, 2005
the naked me
There were a series of events that happened to me. No, I didn’t get naked. So, I’ll tell you what happened first, and then explain.
Some years ago, I went kind of obsessed with losing weight. At the time, according to my BMI (body mass index), a “Do-It-Yourself Body-fat Percentage Test” I found online, my family (siblings especially), and the portrait media painted of the “ideal size” woman – I was fat. I told my best friend at the time (who was around the same size as me now that I look back at the photos) about my plumpness, but she told me I wasn’t.
About a year or so ago, I started doing some weight-watching again – but not for the same reasons; I wanted to be healthy. But when I mentioned to a few of my friends about my lifestyle changes, they said, “Julie, you’re not fat. You look fine – quit worrying so much.”
During the past summer, after a nice game of softball, the Lions and another team (I don’t remember exactly which one) did a devotional together. Our task was to go into groups of 4 or 5 and tell each other one bad thing, one good thing and one thing we would like to change about ourselves. I remember thinking really hard about the stuff I wanted to change, like my ears, my flexibility (or lack thereof) or improve some softball skill... but when it came time to share, a thought hit me and I said, “I wish I didn’t have any secrets.”
A month or so ago, in the Scarborough Grace Hospital where I volunteer, a middle-aged man kept watching me while I walked around and did my duties. He was waiting for the doctor to see him, so I assumed he had nothing better to occupy himself with. But after a good hour of observing, he finally came up, stared me straight in the eyes and said, “I just wanted to let you know that you’re beautiful.”
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Okay, I just want to make it clear that I’m not looking for any comments about my appearance. Like I’ve said blogs past, I can’t take criticism (negative or positive). So, please don’t say anything about that for my sake.
Now then, to tie everything up... after each of those scenarios, I found myself saying in my mind,
“That’s because you’ve never seen me naked.”
I still say that, actually. Sometimes even aloud when people I’m comfortable with make a comment about my looks. You don’t know what I hide... all the little deformities I may have. Apart of this blog entry, I was going to list out all my “not normal” physical characteristics of myself, but I was advised not to... because I wouldn’t know what that would accomplish. In fact, I don’t know what my main point is.
My thoughts are jumbled, but what I think I’m trying to say is... I may not look like the girl you may think I look like. Hum... sounds odd... how about this: we girls (although I can really only speak for myself now) hide a lot of ourselves to have ourselves believe we look better than we think we look when we’re absolutely naked. Huh... Okay, 3’s the charm, I’m going to try to make sense of my thoughts one more time: when it comes to appearance, there are many things you may not be able to see because we/I have mastered the art of disguising our/my “ugliness” that only we/I know exist. I know I’m probably scaring you with what “things” I may be hiding, but comparing myself to other naked women I’ve seen, I’m not a monster. But that doesn’t matter, the bottom line is... we’re all ugly. *ha ha* (kidding) I don’t know... dang, I shouldn’t have blogged. Do I make sense? Probably not. But I think I make sense, so I’ll just leave it at that.
End communication.
Some years ago, I went kind of obsessed with losing weight. At the time, according to my BMI (body mass index), a “Do-It-Yourself Body-fat Percentage Test” I found online, my family (siblings especially), and the portrait media painted of the “ideal size” woman – I was fat. I told my best friend at the time (who was around the same size as me now that I look back at the photos) about my plumpness, but she told me I wasn’t.
About a year or so ago, I started doing some weight-watching again – but not for the same reasons; I wanted to be healthy. But when I mentioned to a few of my friends about my lifestyle changes, they said, “Julie, you’re not fat. You look fine – quit worrying so much.”
During the past summer, after a nice game of softball, the Lions and another team (I don’t remember exactly which one) did a devotional together. Our task was to go into groups of 4 or 5 and tell each other one bad thing, one good thing and one thing we would like to change about ourselves. I remember thinking really hard about the stuff I wanted to change, like my ears, my flexibility (or lack thereof) or improve some softball skill... but when it came time to share, a thought hit me and I said, “I wish I didn’t have any secrets.”
A month or so ago, in the Scarborough Grace Hospital where I volunteer, a middle-aged man kept watching me while I walked around and did my duties. He was waiting for the doctor to see him, so I assumed he had nothing better to occupy himself with. But after a good hour of observing, he finally came up, stared me straight in the eyes and said, “I just wanted to let you know that you’re beautiful.”
-------------------------
Okay, I just want to make it clear that I’m not looking for any comments about my appearance. Like I’ve said blogs past, I can’t take criticism (negative or positive). So, please don’t say anything about that for my sake.
Now then, to tie everything up... after each of those scenarios, I found myself saying in my mind,
“That’s because you’ve never seen me naked.”
I still say that, actually. Sometimes even aloud when people I’m comfortable with make a comment about my looks. You don’t know what I hide... all the little deformities I may have. Apart of this blog entry, I was going to list out all my “not normal” physical characteristics of myself, but I was advised not to... because I wouldn’t know what that would accomplish. In fact, I don’t know what my main point is.
My thoughts are jumbled, but what I think I’m trying to say is... I may not look like the girl you may think I look like. Hum... sounds odd... how about this: we girls (although I can really only speak for myself now) hide a lot of ourselves to have ourselves believe we look better than we think we look when we’re absolutely naked. Huh... Okay, 3’s the charm, I’m going to try to make sense of my thoughts one more time: when it comes to appearance, there are many things you may not be able to see because we/I have mastered the art of disguising our/my “ugliness” that only we/I know exist. I know I’m probably scaring you with what “things” I may be hiding, but comparing myself to other naked women I’ve seen, I’m not a monster. But that doesn’t matter, the bottom line is... we’re all ugly. *ha ha* (kidding) I don’t know... dang, I shouldn’t have blogged. Do I make sense? Probably not. But I think I make sense, so I’ll just leave it at that.
End communication.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
2-tier my butt
I love talking about the Canadian healthcare (HC) system. Anyone who has spoken with me about this topic knows that I am currently anti-privatization (present me with opposing evidence-based support and maybe I’ll look more favourably towards the private sector). I’ve had a lot of intriguing debates about it, especially with a number of people who have very strong views for pro-privatization.
My main reasons for my views on the “2-tier” public/private HC system
Many people believe that if we had a paralleling private system where patients can purchase the treatment they need; it can not only relieve them of the long waiting lists for themselves, but also allow those who are waiting be pushed up on the lineup.
It won’t work. Here’s why:
- Physicians and HC workers in the US (they have a fully private system) get paid almost twice the amount as the ones in Canada do. What will stop Canada’s physicians from transferring to the private hospitals with such incentives? And if they do pull physicians out of the public system, there would be just as much, if not more, waiting for those people who cannot afford private HC.
- It’s been shown that the care received in private systems does not match up to the care received in public system. I’m assuming it’s because they try to see as many patients as possible to maximize their pay (not diagnosing thoroughly), hiring not-as-skilled but less-expensive laborers (for housekeeping, kitchen staff, etc.) which may affect its cleanliness and overall efficiency, the less patients = more desperate for patients... and who knows what that might lead to.
- People waiting for organ transplants or hip (or other body parts) replacements aren’t suddenly going to experience an increase in the number of donors; they’re still going to have to wait.
- People complained when the government delisted some services off OHIP (e.g. eye examination, dentist checkups, etc.); would people not complain more when we need to pay for more services that are deemed “medically necessary”?
- A small hospital costs millions to operate. Who is going to fund the initial funding to build these private hospitals? I hear Alberta, who is currently trying to open Canada’s first private hospital, is asking the federal government for funding. Where does the government’s money come from? Taxes. Are we willing to pay more taxes, or reallocate funding from public services like education, to build hospitals for those who are wealthy enough to pay for expensive treatments (I say ‘expensive’ because generally, treatments are hundreds to thousands of dollars)?
- Can private HC not become for-profit? I don’t believe so. I think when shareholders, cost-savings, marketing, competition, wants/demands, and other economics’ terms get involved – it’s inevitable. What good is a for-profit HC system? We don’t know what we need when we’re sick; physicians tell us what we need. It’s the ultimate monopoly! I recently saw a video that stated that our HC system is a potential multi-trillion dollar market – it’s no wonder companies are trying to get a piece of the action! Especially those from the south of the border, trying to slowing move their way up into this “market”.
- This brings me to my next point... I don’t think healthcare is something to be purchased like any other commodity. It’s not our choice to get sick, we just do. And it’s not like we enjoy getting treatment. Health is something sacred and affects every aspect of our lives.
- Should those who richer be treated faster? Should those who have better insurance be treated better or faster than any middle class person who needs urgent care? Why is money a determining factor as to how others will live their lives? Is this fair? These are the types of questions that will be raised if a so-called “2-tier” HC systems stems in Canada. Not to mention this goes against the principles of the Canadian Health Act.
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I have a lot more to say... I’ll probably write it in my next post. Most of the points I made are backed by evidence-based literature. If I were a real geek, I would’ve referenced them... though I thought about it, I decided that sleep will help more in the long run.
One last point: The best way to help our HC system is by PREVENTION. (or get rid of the “free-loaders” who abuse the system by choosing to damage their health, then demand treatment for themselves when ill... but that’s not feasible.)
Thursday, October 06, 2005
don't push
Here I am once more, walking my own ways
I don’t need your help, my wrongs I will pay
Yet I ache again and again
You hold out your hand,
But I push it away
Again and again
Here I am once more, choosing the path of sin
I turn my face away, from you I want to be hidden
Yet I fall again and again
You hold out your hand,
But I push it away
Again and again
Why do you keep trying?
Oh God, let me be!
I don’t deserve your love
I don’t deserve your love!
So please, please stop trying...
Here I am once more, a stranger in my mirror
I'm lost in my own act, only my name on the paper
And I cry again and again
You hold out your name
But I push it away
Again and again
Why do you keep trying?
Oh God, let me be!
I don’t deserve your love
I don’t deserve your love
So please, please stop trying...
But you chose to love me, knowing what’s in my heart
You chose die for me, knowing I may want us apart
I don’t deserve your love
But you said it’s okay...
Why do you keep trying?
Oh God, let me be!
I don’t deserve your love
But you said it’s okay...
You hold out your hand
I take it
I’ll stay.
------------------------------
These are the lyrics of a song I wanted to write for God. But it'll be years before I can come up with any instrumental parts to it... maybe never. If society didn't limit the average length of songs to a few minutes, my song for/about God could be endless... there's just too much to write when it comes to the Lord Most High
I don’t need your help, my wrongs I will pay
Yet I ache again and again
You hold out your hand,
But I push it away
Again and again
Here I am once more, choosing the path of sin
I turn my face away, from you I want to be hidden
Yet I fall again and again
You hold out your hand,
But I push it away
Again and again
Why do you keep trying?
Oh God, let me be!
I don’t deserve your love
I don’t deserve your love!
So please, please stop trying...
Here I am once more, a stranger in my mirror
I'm lost in my own act, only my name on the paper
And I cry again and again
You hold out your name
But I push it away
Again and again
Why do you keep trying?
Oh God, let me be!
I don’t deserve your love
I don’t deserve your love
So please, please stop trying...
But you chose to love me, knowing what’s in my heart
You chose die for me, knowing I may want us apart
I don’t deserve your love
But you said it’s okay...
Why do you keep trying?
Oh God, let me be!
I don’t deserve your love
But you said it’s okay...
You hold out your hand
I take it
I’ll stay.
------------------------------
These are the lyrics of a song I wanted to write for God. But it'll be years before I can come up with any instrumental parts to it... maybe never. If society didn't limit the average length of songs to a few minutes, my song for/about God could be endless... there's just too much to write when it comes to the Lord Most High
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
funny how humans operate
Everyone thinks they make rational, objective, well thought-out decisions, whether they are big or small decisions. But let me tell you, I was enlightened recently... I’ll summarize my findings:
- The Anchoring Trap
Is the population of Turkey greater than 35 million?
What’s your best estimate of Turkey’s population?
If you’re like most people, the figure of 35 million cited in the first question (a number chosen arbitrarily) influenced your answer to the second question. This question was asked to many groups of people; half the cases they used 35 million and the other half they used 100 million. As predicted, the answer to the second question increased by millions when a greater figure was used in the first question. This common phenomenon is known as anchoring. “When considering a decision, the mind gives disproportionate weight to the first information it receives. Initial impressions, estimates, or data anchor subsequent thoughts and judgments.”
--------------------------- - The Sunk-Cost Trap
Your friend needed a job and you decided to pull a few strings and ask a few favors from your boss to have him hired. Your friend isn’t the most reliable person and can’t cut it as the employee you made him out to be. What do you do? You try to teach him more, fix his mistakes, make excuses for him; pour enormous effort into improving the performance of an employee whom we knew shouldn’t have hired.
Our past decisions become what economists term as sunk costs – old investments of time or money that are now irrecoverable. We know, rationally, that sunk costs are irrelevant to present decision, but nevertheless they prey one our minds, causing use to make improper decisions. Frequently, it’s because we are unwilling, consciously or not, to admit we made a mistake... especially if there are other people affected by your mistake. We become trapped by an “escalation of commitment” and try, consciously or unconsciously, to protect our earlier, faulty decisions.
--------------------------- - The Confirming-Evidence Trap
Your boyfriend just broke up with you and you needed to call someone to vent to. You decide to call one of your girl friends, whom you know wasn’t too fond of your ex-boyfriend to begin with, to get support and comfort from.
Okay, I know that example is situational and when dealing with people, things are very complex. But the general idea behind this trap is that, when we believe something is the best decision and we’re looking for evidence and supporters, we tend to seek out the people who have similar ideas as us. “The confirming-evidence bias not only affects where we go to collect evidence but also how we interpret the evidence we do receive, leading us to give too much weight to supporting information and too little to conflicting information.”
--------------------------- - The Framing Trap 1 --> Gains vs. Losses
Your father put you in charge of taking care of 3 boxes of merchandise each box worth $200. Somehow, the boxes got lost in the shipping, but the insurance company offers you 2 options:
Plan A. This plan will save the merchandise of one of the 3 boxes, worth $200.
Plan B. This plan has a 1/3 probability of saving all 3 boxes, worth $600, but has a 2/3 probability of saving nothing.
Which plan will you choose?
Most people in this type of study chose the “less risky” Plan A. But if we were to ask you to choose between:
Plan C. This plan will result in the loss of 2 of the 3 boxes, worth $400.
Plan D. This plan has a 2/3 probability of resulting in the loss of all 3 boxes, but has a 1/3 probability of saving all the merchandise, worth $600.
In this framing, most people would choose Plan D. If you haven’t noticed, Plan A=Plan C, and Plan B=Plan D. As studies show, people are less risky when a problem is put in terms of gains (boxes saved) but riskier when a problem is posed in terms of avoiding losses (boxes lost).
--------------------------- - The Framing Trap 2 --> Different Reference Points
You have $2000 in your checking account and you are asked the following question:
Would you accept a 50-50 chance of either losing $300 or winning $500?
Would you accept the chance? What if you were asked this question:
Would you prefer to keep your checking account balance of $2000 or to accept a 50-50 chance of having either $1700 or $2500?
Rationally speaking, your answers should be the same, but studies have shown that many people to refuse the 50-50 chance in the first question, but accept it in the second. Our different reactions result from the different reference points presented. The first frame, with its reference point of $0, emphasized incremental gains and losses – the thought of losing triggers a conservative response in many people’s minds. The second frame, with its reference point of $2000, puts things into perspective by emphasizing the real financial impact of the decision.
---------------------------
There are many other traps that are mentioned, but I believe they are more obvious and recognizable which is why I didn’t include them. Just remember: the higher the stakes, the higher the risk of being caught in a psychological trap – the best protection against all psychological traps is AWARENESS.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Pride: mother of all sins?
Today (Friday) for fellowship, we had a book study in our small groups. Included in my assembly are: Willie (co-leader), Tracy (committee member), Albert, Chris, Richard, and me (the few people missing: Antony, Ben and Judy).
After about an hour of sharing about our childhood life, Chris and Richard had to leave for worship practice... that’s when the real sharing began. (not saying there was anything wrong with the 2 who left; we just started to answer the questions that were set out for the night)
Anyway, the 4 of us had a very moving conversation... it’s been a long time since I was so indulged in a small group in this depth of intimacy. I loved it.
One of the questions was:
Have you ever done something (or not do something) to someone where it made you feel like the lowest person in the world?
You can imagine the type of discussion this was.
I was astounded by the humility of this group... sharing and confessing things a common person wouldn’t even say aloud. I’m also very proud of them. (I say “them” and not “us” because sadly, I am yet to be at that level of openness to share what is heavy on my heart...) The only problem is what happens when the rest of the group is there. Will we be as comfortable? Will people be able to share?
... I guess there’s nothing left to do but wait and see... but it’s amazing what happens when people lower their pride and take a step back to really analyze themselves and their situations. =o)
After about an hour of sharing about our childhood life, Chris and Richard had to leave for worship practice... that’s when the real sharing began. (not saying there was anything wrong with the 2 who left; we just started to answer the questions that were set out for the night)
Anyway, the 4 of us had a very moving conversation... it’s been a long time since I was so indulged in a small group in this depth of intimacy. I loved it.
One of the questions was:
Have you ever done something (or not do something) to someone where it made you feel like the lowest person in the world?
You can imagine the type of discussion this was.
I was astounded by the humility of this group... sharing and confessing things a common person wouldn’t even say aloud. I’m also very proud of them. (I say “them” and not “us” because sadly, I am yet to be at that level of openness to share what is heavy on my heart...) The only problem is what happens when the rest of the group is there. Will we be as comfortable? Will people be able to share?
... I guess there’s nothing left to do but wait and see... but it’s amazing what happens when people lower their pride and take a step back to really analyze themselves and their situations. =o)
Things I’m looking forward to:
- Mac Friends Thanksgiving dinner
- Catching up with: James Lau, Allison (from Mac), my Accountability partners (Asako & Helen), Anita (from East York), Lions’ players I don’t see often
- Playing more softball
- Jewish holidays - no class
- Hearing from people in Nicaragua
- Sunday church service
- Celebrating sister’s and brother’s birthdays (bdays are: Sept 25, Oct 2, respectively)
- Playing volleyball
- The next small group meeting
- Having a long conversation with mother
- Sleeping with lots of thick/puffy blankets (having the window slightly open for a cool breeze)
- Getting to know someone a little better
... not having to worry about anything
Monday, September 26, 2005
our story
This post is dedicated to Brian Leung.
So, Brian and I have been dating for 3.5 years (March 26th is our anniversary, thus September 26th would be the half point) and I don’t know about you, but that’s a crazy amount of time. My 2nd-longest relationship before Brian lasted exactly 30 days... we broke up right on our “one month”. It shocks me every time I think about it.
During this time, there were many ups and downs... events that have changed me and shaped me. Brian played a big part in my devotion to Christ and in turn, Christ has molded and become apart of every aspect of my life. I’m very thankful for him and Him; they’re the 2 biggest influences and 2 very important people to me.
And as a commemoration on the years past, I’m going to tell the story of how Brian and I got together (in 3rd person because it’s more amusing to write).
So, Brian and I have been dating for 3.5 years (March 26th is our anniversary, thus September 26th would be the half point) and I don’t know about you, but that’s a crazy amount of time. My 2nd-longest relationship before Brian lasted exactly 30 days... we broke up right on our “one month”. It shocks me every time I think about it.
During this time, there were many ups and downs... events that have changed me and shaped me. Brian played a big part in my devotion to Christ and in turn, Christ has molded and become apart of every aspect of my life. I’m very thankful for him and Him; they’re the 2 biggest influences and 2 very important people to me.
And as a commemoration on the years past, I’m going to tell the story of how Brian and I got together (in 3rd person because it’s more amusing to write).
-------------------------------
It’s the winter of 2002 and Julie came to ETCBC like she has done for the past year, but now as a new Christian. She and her friend Helen sat in the front aisle. Before the music began, everyone was asked to stand up and greet the people around them. Brian and his friend David, who usually sat in the next row of pews, ended up sitting in the pew right behind Julie.
“Hello, I’m Julie.”
“Hi, I’m Brian.”
This was their first exchange of words.
About a month passed with little conversation between the 2. One day, after Sunday school, Julie and Brian were found stranded at church because everyone else had left for lunch without them. So they started talking and after a while, Julie mentioned to Brian that she needed to go to Toys ‘R Us to buy gifts for her little cousins, and being the gentleman that he was, he offered to go with her. As they walked and talked, they decided to go to lunch together at Memories of Japan.
They became good friends quickly and attraction between the 2 began to mound as they got to know each other more. As Christmas day approached, Brian and Julie ran into each other often and saw each other’s names in obscure places (i.e. a gift receipt, street signs, advertisements, etc.). It soon became evident that they liked one another and one strange conversation over ICQ and phone, they told each other how they felt.
Knowing they liked each other, it was very important that they find out whether or not God wanted them to be together. Julie, not knowing what it meant to “ask God” for guidance, was very dependant on Brian for what she should be doing.
“Just pray and read the Bible,” he said, “You’ll know when it’s God speaking.”
So, for the next 3 months, they both earnestly prayed and did devotionals – waiting for God’s response.
One night, as Julie was reading through Matthew, she had to go to the washroom midway through. She placed her pen where she had left off and went. When she returned, the pen was at a completely different section of the Bible; the first page of Ecclesiastes! On and on it went about how things were meaningless... she began to feel as if this was a sign and that they shouldn’t be together. But determined to finish the book, she kept reading and came along to a passage that read,
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12
Julie phoned Brian immediately after reading this and told him about the passage. To his surprise, that was the exact same passage as the one his previous girlfriend had read when they were deciding whether or not to date (and as their title states, they did date). Crazy isn’t it? Anyway, not too long after, Brian began to feel as though God was leading them to get together also. Then, after months of waiting, praying, and seeking, on March 26th, 2002 around 1:30am, Brian asked her out.
------------------------------
Ahhh, the memories... I wish I can remember them all... -_-"
I love you, Brian. =o)
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
truths & half-truths
To me, there's no such thing as a half-truth; they’re as good as lies.
For example, it’s like someone in a chat room telling a little girl, “yes, I’m young...” and leaving out, “young at heart.” Or asking A/S/L (age/sex/location) and someone replying, “17/F/Canada…” leaving out, “40 years ago I was 17, which is when I had my sex change in Canada.”
I’ll be honest; I’m pretty anal when it comes to people telling me lies and “half-truths”. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt that what they’re saying is true all the time... so when I find out they’ve lied to me, it makes me feel like I’ve wasted my time fully trusting them. But another problem is that I’m very gullible and I give my trust to everyone until they lose it... please don’t make things difficult by lying.
“White lies.” I don’t like those either. If I ask you how you are and you tell me you’re okay when you face tells me otherwise, how am I supposed to react?
1. This tells me you might be lying.
2. It tells me you either don’t trust me enough to tell me what’s wrong or you just don’t want me to worry about you, which is already too late because I’ll worry about you even more now that you won’t tell me what the problem is.
3. You have one less person who can pray for you and give you support and be there for you.
Also, if I ask you if I look okay in some item of clothing, but in fact, I look like road-kill – tell me please! I’d rather know the truth and I’ll be thankful for your honesty. Oh, which reminds me, for those who can’t handle the truth - suck it up and move on... it’s not worth your time or energy to have negative feelings lingering over what someone said to you that was truthful. In fact, it takes a lot more courage to tell someone the truth than a lie, thus be appreciative of what you hear.
“Over exaggerations” are fine when it’s obvious and unmistakably an over exaggeration. But when done too subtly, it has the potential to seem like a lie. For example, someone is trying to convince you of something and they say, “yeah, everyone feels this way” when in fact, only a few people do – that’s deceptive.
“Above all, my brothers, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned.” - James 5:12
For example, it’s like someone in a chat room telling a little girl, “yes, I’m young...” and leaving out, “young at heart.” Or asking A/S/L (age/sex/location) and someone replying, “17/F/Canada…” leaving out, “40 years ago I was 17, which is when I had my sex change in Canada.”
I’ll be honest; I’m pretty anal when it comes to people telling me lies and “half-truths”. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt that what they’re saying is true all the time... so when I find out they’ve lied to me, it makes me feel like I’ve wasted my time fully trusting them. But another problem is that I’m very gullible and I give my trust to everyone until they lose it... please don’t make things difficult by lying.
“White lies.” I don’t like those either. If I ask you how you are and you tell me you’re okay when you face tells me otherwise, how am I supposed to react?
1. This tells me you might be lying.
2. It tells me you either don’t trust me enough to tell me what’s wrong or you just don’t want me to worry about you, which is already too late because I’ll worry about you even more now that you won’t tell me what the problem is.
3. You have one less person who can pray for you and give you support and be there for you.
Also, if I ask you if I look okay in some item of clothing, but in fact, I look like road-kill – tell me please! I’d rather know the truth and I’ll be thankful for your honesty. Oh, which reminds me, for those who can’t handle the truth - suck it up and move on... it’s not worth your time or energy to have negative feelings lingering over what someone said to you that was truthful. In fact, it takes a lot more courage to tell someone the truth than a lie, thus be appreciative of what you hear.
“Over exaggerations” are fine when it’s obvious and unmistakably an over exaggeration. But when done too subtly, it has the potential to seem like a lie. For example, someone is trying to convince you of something and they say, “yeah, everyone feels this way” when in fact, only a few people do – that’s deceptive.
“Above all, my brothers, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned.” - James 5:12
Monday, September 05, 2005
A walk through Proverbs
For the past month or so, I’ve been reading Proverbs for my devo. I wanted to post a small blurb about the verses that stuck to me at the end of each blog, but never got around to it until now (since I wake up every 2 hours, this is the 3rd night in a row and today I’ve been up since 7am). I’m in chapter 20 now, so to catch up, I’m simply going to write out the verses and not explain their significance to me unless it hit my like a football in the groin. (The bolded ones are the ones I want you to read if you don't feel like reading them all). There are some pretty wise quotes in Proverbs; you should read it also.
“My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.” - Proverbs 3:21-24
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.” - Proverbs 4:23-27
“Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning.” - Proverbs 9:8-9
“Be sure of this: The wicked will not go unpunished, but those who are righteous will go free.” - Proverbs 11:21
“One man pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth. A man's riches may ransom his life, but a poor man hears no threat.” - Proverbs 13:7-8
“Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” - Proverbs 13:10
“Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox comes an abundant harvest.” - Proverbs 14:10
“Stern discipline awaits him who leaves the path; he who hates correction will die.” - Proverbs 15:10
“A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.” - Proverbs 15:30
“The fear of the LORD teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor.” - Proverbs 15:33
“To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue.” - Proverbs 16:1 ---> This one really made me think... probably because I didn’t understand it. But I did a little research and from what I found, this verse tells us how God instills His plans into our hearts with the Holy Spirit, but it is only through His power that it will be done.
“The LORD works out everything for his own ends— even the wicked for a day of disaster.” - Proverbs 16:4 ---> This was also a loud verse, mainly because I have struggles with fully depending on God. This verse reminded me of how He is in control of everything – despite all our failures and imperfections, He can still use us in His plans ... ~sigh~ I need to trust Him more...
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” - Proverbs 16:25 ---> Ah ha! This is why I am never certain about my decisions, because what may seem so right to me may not be what God wants me to do... I learned from an excellent exercise book (Experiencing God) that whenever God reveals His plans to you, He'll always confirm it through the Bible, prayer, the church, and your Christian community.
“Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.” - Proverbs 16:32
“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” - Proverbs 17:22
“A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.” - Proverbs 18:2
“The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.” - Proverbs 18:17 ---> You see, this is why I hate gossip. Things like this are so obvious, yet so unspoken... good ol’ Proverbs
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” - Proverbs 18:21
“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” - Proverbs 18:24 ---> this one made me tear...
“Laziness brings on deep sleep, and the shiftless man goes hungry.” - Proverbs 19:15
“My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.” - Proverbs 3:21-24
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.” - Proverbs 4:23-27
“Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning.” - Proverbs 9:8-9
“Be sure of this: The wicked will not go unpunished, but those who are righteous will go free.” - Proverbs 11:21
“One man pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth. A man's riches may ransom his life, but a poor man hears no threat.” - Proverbs 13:7-8
“Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” - Proverbs 13:10
“Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox comes an abundant harvest.” - Proverbs 14:10
“Stern discipline awaits him who leaves the path; he who hates correction will die.” - Proverbs 15:10
“A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.” - Proverbs 15:30
“The fear of the LORD teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor.” - Proverbs 15:33
“To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue.” - Proverbs 16:1 ---> This one really made me think... probably because I didn’t understand it. But I did a little research and from what I found, this verse tells us how God instills His plans into our hearts with the Holy Spirit, but it is only through His power that it will be done.
“The LORD works out everything for his own ends— even the wicked for a day of disaster.” - Proverbs 16:4 ---> This was also a loud verse, mainly because I have struggles with fully depending on God. This verse reminded me of how He is in control of everything – despite all our failures and imperfections, He can still use us in His plans ... ~sigh~ I need to trust Him more...
“There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” - Proverbs 16:25 ---> Ah ha! This is why I am never certain about my decisions, because what may seem so right to me may not be what God wants me to do... I learned from an excellent exercise book (Experiencing God) that whenever God reveals His plans to you, He'll always confirm it through the Bible, prayer, the church, and your Christian community.
“Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.” - Proverbs 16:32
“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” - Proverbs 17:22
“A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.” - Proverbs 18:2
“The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.” - Proverbs 18:17 ---> You see, this is why I hate gossip. Things like this are so obvious, yet so unspoken... good ol’ Proverbs
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” - Proverbs 18:21
“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” - Proverbs 18:24 ---> this one made me tear...
“Laziness brings on deep sleep, and the shiftless man goes hungry.” - Proverbs 19:15
Sunday, September 04, 2005
I’m sick...
My symptoms:
- Persistent cough
- Due to the amount of coughing, I’m developing abdominal pain
- Extremely painful soar throat (to the point where I tear just swallowing my saliva)
- Occasional weakness (but that may be for today only because I played in a Korean softball tournament for 10 hours, living only on water, Poweraid, a bagel w/ nothing on it and a cheese bun)
- Quickly change in temperature (I might be developing a fever...)
- Tiredness
My main problem is the throat... I looked up some of my symptoms and I think it may be one of 4 things:
- Strep Throat
- Bronchitis
- Cold or Flu
- Pneumonia
Ugh... I feel like poo and look even worse... first the lump in my armpit and now this... Is God trying to tell me something? But to prevent any spreading and how I feel tomorrow, I might not attend church or the softball events I emailed people about... ~sigh~
Last night, I woke up at 5am coughing my brains out. I couldn't go back to sleep afterwards and basically rolled around and read the Bible until Brian called me at 8:30am about softball. this sucks. (KCSA softball was very fun, btw. We played 3 games, made it to the playoffs and lost to the only undefeated team by 2 runs)
Friday, September 02, 2005
Christian "sluts"
I know I’m opening a HUGE can of worms with this post, but I’m ready to take the consequences if any of this is eye-opening to anyone. (Warning: vulgar language used, readers’ discretion is advised)
By the sheer title of being “Christian”, we’re assumed to be witnesses and people of Christ. We are warned that the world is watching us and that we need to be good examples of the people God intended us to be. Thus note: this entry is mainly aimed to the Christian denomination. Okay, here comes the fun part...
“Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way.” - Romans 14:13 (NIV)
Part 1: The Judge
We need to stop judging the book by its cover (although, more often than not, the cover does tell quite a bit of its content). To prevent any disputes over the technicalities in my wording, I’m just going to say what I mean. We need to stop judging people by what they wear. Just because girls wear clothing with small surface areas, doesn’t mean they sleep around.
Part 2: The “Slut”
From what I’ve been told, males are very visual; easily stimulated by what they see. Most of us female attention-whores know this piece of information. The problem occurs when we use it to our advantage and deliberately wear provocative items of clothing to satisfy our need for attention. Okay, I understand that being fashionable is important and the trend that’s set can be a determining factor as to what is worn. I also know that it can be quite hot outside and having funny tan-lines with certain clothing could be a “fashion faux pas.” BUT as Christian women, it’s our duty to first fulfill God’s request for us to NOT be stumbling blocks for our brothers. I’m not going to list the things you should or should not wear because I think if you were able to choose God and call yourself a Christian, you’re also able to choose what you wear sensibly.
“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.” - Colossians 3:5 (NIV)
Part 3: The Horny
Guys... you should know better, turn away. If you’re going clubbing or going somewhere where there are bound to be half naked chicks, you’re putting yourself in temptation... then it’s just a matter of how serious you take stumbling to be. What circumstances would you allow yourself to be placed in? That’s something you should figure out before you go exploring different strip joints. Only you know how much you can handle; only you can control your actions and thoughts; only you can draw the boundaries for yourself. Be mindful and intentional, it’s not always the girl’s fault.
----------------------
Romans 14 into perspective:
“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.” - Romans 14: 19-21
I’m somewhat taking verse 13 out of context because they are literally talking about food in this chapter, but I feel the principles from these verses can be applied to what I talked about above. Feel free to agree or disagree, but I do urge you to leave a comment about your views on this matter.
By the sheer title of being “Christian”, we’re assumed to be witnesses and people of Christ. We are warned that the world is watching us and that we need to be good examples of the people God intended us to be. Thus note: this entry is mainly aimed to the Christian denomination. Okay, here comes the fun part...
“Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way.” - Romans 14:13 (NIV)
Part 1: The Judge
We need to stop judging the book by its cover (although, more often than not, the cover does tell quite a bit of its content). To prevent any disputes over the technicalities in my wording, I’m just going to say what I mean. We need to stop judging people by what they wear. Just because girls wear clothing with small surface areas, doesn’t mean they sleep around.
Part 2: The “Slut”
From what I’ve been told, males are very visual; easily stimulated by what they see. Most of us female attention-whores know this piece of information. The problem occurs when we use it to our advantage and deliberately wear provocative items of clothing to satisfy our need for attention. Okay, I understand that being fashionable is important and the trend that’s set can be a determining factor as to what is worn. I also know that it can be quite hot outside and having funny tan-lines with certain clothing could be a “fashion faux pas.” BUT as Christian women, it’s our duty to first fulfill God’s request for us to NOT be stumbling blocks for our brothers. I’m not going to list the things you should or should not wear because I think if you were able to choose God and call yourself a Christian, you’re also able to choose what you wear sensibly.
“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.” - Colossians 3:5 (NIV)
Part 3: The Horny
Guys... you should know better, turn away. If you’re going clubbing or going somewhere where there are bound to be half naked chicks, you’re putting yourself in temptation... then it’s just a matter of how serious you take stumbling to be. What circumstances would you allow yourself to be placed in? That’s something you should figure out before you go exploring different strip joints. Only you know how much you can handle; only you can control your actions and thoughts; only you can draw the boundaries for yourself. Be mindful and intentional, it’s not always the girl’s fault.
----------------------
Romans 14 into perspective:
“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.” - Romans 14: 19-21
I’m somewhat taking verse 13 out of context because they are literally talking about food in this chapter, but I feel the principles from these verses can be applied to what I talked about above. Feel free to agree or disagree, but I do urge you to leave a comment about your views on this matter.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
showing my ID
Most of you who know me, know I’m going through a slight identity crisis. I thought I was showing signs of improvement until I was recently told I should/need to change something about me... or what I think/thought was a part of who I am. I’m not going to state exactly what this characteristic is, but here’s the jist of it:
Everyone says, “You need to learn from your mistakes.”
If a mistake I made was hurting someone’s feelings, that means I need to learn from that experience and change whatever it is I did that hurt them, correct?
If that is the case, than does that mean I continuously change to please those around me? Most of us would disagree with that.
But tell me, where’s the flaw in this equation:
Mistake = learn + change
Mistake = Hurt feelings
Hurt feelings = learn + change
I know humans and human relationships are more complex than simple-minded formulas like the one above, but it baffles me to decipher what characteristics I should and shouldn’t change for the sake of other people’s wellbeing. It messes me up when people tell me to “just be real”, while at the same time being sensitive to those around me... especially when the two components conflict with one another.
I’ve talked to a few people about this problem and have acquired some new insight; it’s just a matter of time before I believe them...
Everyone says, “You need to learn from your mistakes.”
If a mistake I made was hurting someone’s feelings, that means I need to learn from that experience and change whatever it is I did that hurt them, correct?
If that is the case, than does that mean I continuously change to please those around me? Most of us would disagree with that.
But tell me, where’s the flaw in this equation:
Mistake = learn + change
Mistake = Hurt feelings
Hurt feelings = learn + change
I know humans and human relationships are more complex than simple-minded formulas like the one above, but it baffles me to decipher what characteristics I should and shouldn’t change for the sake of other people’s wellbeing. It messes me up when people tell me to “just be real”, while at the same time being sensitive to those around me... especially when the two components conflict with one another.
I’ve talked to a few people about this problem and have acquired some new insight; it’s just a matter of time before I believe them...
Friday, August 26, 2005
Moments-o-Nicaragua:
- On our way there, I was randomly chosen to be thoroughly patted down by the custom’s officer... I’ve never been so violated in my life. Then, on the way back, I joked with Huston’s custom officer that I was bringing drugs... I got “X-Rayed”... NEVER joke with custom’s officers...
- I’ve never been so captivated by nature’s beauty in my life.
Everywhere we went the sky looked like the backdrop of what Heaven would look like... gorgeous sunbeams, full rainbows, boldly silver-lined clouds... wow...
Esteli (the village we resided in) was in a valley, if you looked down any street – you would see the crisp green mountains in the background.
Stunning post-card-worthy waterfall... a bunch of us swam there too (I picked up some rocks with my toes from there for memories). - I LOVE THE SIMPLE LIFE; eat, sleep, work, and play on weekends. What we deem as “laborious” work feels more fulfilling to me... I can see exactly what my contribution is.
- We were probably the only Oriental people in the entire country. We were also the first Chinese people many of the kids have seen. Can you imagine every single person on a busy street turning there heads to look at you? I can. Because it happened to us... practically everyday... o_O
- Cultural dance lessons! I can’t just talk about this experience, I need to show you. ^_^ The get-together on our very last day with all the families and helpers was great! The love, that was so thorny to show through the language barriers, just poured out from each other’s sharing, actions, and dancing... good times.
- Nightly devos – it’s amazing; the things I discovered about the team; what makes them frustrated, scared, stupid, useful/useless, feel like they’re being persecuted, why we’re on this trip, etc. I feel so much closer to them and thus I’m disappointed that I didn’t bother to learn more about the people around me before...
- On the weekend, we went to Leon (another city 3 hours away from Esteli). Watching a lightning storm far away is the most memorizing sight ever! Norm can agree with that. Playing with the local kids was interesting, I’m not a big fan of kids, but these ones were so open and willing to play with anyone. I’ll have to teach some of you the games, they’re quite fun! ^_^
----------------
There are tons of stories and pictures to share, just let me know and I’ll be more than happy to share (although, many of the humorous stories you have to be there to think it’s funny). This was a great experience... I can understand why people say, "short-term missions is more helpful to those who go to serve, than to those being served." I recommend everyone to go on a short-term thing at least once in their life. It's worth it.
Would I go again? Without a doubt.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Here's to Friends
I’m thankful for my friends,
When we talk or email or meet
Because we share our lives together
Just like family.
I’m thankful for their words,
I’m thankful for their hearts
We pray and sing and work together
Like efficient body parts.
I’m thankful for our silence
The moments pass soothingly
Not a word we need to speak
To enjoy our company.
I’m thankful for the laughs,
The tears and times we've shared
In their presence is all I need
To know that they still cared.
I’m thankful these people
God sent me from above
I’m thankful every single day
That I’m surrounded by so much love.
---------------------
Thank you for your words of encouragements, your advice, your prayers and support. I’m so blessed to be a friend to you who care about me and are so kindhearted; so sweet. I love you people so much that I tear sometimes to know how fortunate I am to be living today. I’ll probably never be able to truly show you all how much our friendship means to me, but let me tell you that I mean every word in this little poem and each of your have impacted my life (no mater how big or small) to shape the person I am now... that is worth more than anything the world has to offer. I’m happy to be alive.
You are my angels and my blessings. Thank you.
(And now, I can finally say, I’m ready to go to Nicaragua! YAY! (^_^)ö )
When we talk or email or meet
Because we share our lives together
Just like family.
I’m thankful for their words,
I’m thankful for their hearts
We pray and sing and work together
Like efficient body parts.
I’m thankful for our silence
The moments pass soothingly
Not a word we need to speak
To enjoy our company.
I’m thankful for the laughs,
The tears and times we've shared
In their presence is all I need
To know that they still cared.
I’m thankful these people
God sent me from above
I’m thankful every single day
That I’m surrounded by so much love.
---------------------
Thank you for your words of encouragements, your advice, your prayers and support. I’m so blessed to be a friend to you who care about me and are so kindhearted; so sweet. I love you people so much that I tear sometimes to know how fortunate I am to be living today. I’ll probably never be able to truly show you all how much our friendship means to me, but let me tell you that I mean every word in this little poem and each of your have impacted my life (no mater how big or small) to shape the person I am now... that is worth more than anything the world has to offer. I’m happy to be alive.
You are my angels and my blessings. Thank you.
(And now, I can finally say, I’m ready to go to Nicaragua! YAY! (^_^)ö )
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
a weekend - a weekstart
What an unforgettable Summer Conference...
Yes, many things have happened. Not just in my life, but many others (some I know, some I do not). I said it before and I’ll say it again: it’s funny how things work out.
Do you believe in coincidences? Luck? “Accidents”?
Although my answer changes every so often, at this current stage I’m in – I don’t.
Every little detail in the environment can have dramatic effects on a person’s course of life. It’s like looking for a star through a telescope; the slightest change in the telescope’s angle can move the view of the star millions light-years away from where it was seen. Maybe our lives aren’t as inflated as that analogy, but it’s generally an example of what I’m trying to say. This is why we need to be watchful in how we act, what we say and do to others... because you just never know the extent of its byproduct.
Everything happens for a reason... and as often as people say it, I seem to lose sight of that fact when things aren’t going my way. God is in full control of what’s happening. I just need to acknowledge this truth and allow Him to steer my life in the proper direction...
I was humbled over this weekend. And a note to everyone: please don’t gossip. If you would like to know how I feel about gossiping, please refer to my blog called “just be quiet” written in March... that’ll get your mojo going.
Yes, many things have happened. Not just in my life, but many others (some I know, some I do not). I said it before and I’ll say it again: it’s funny how things work out.
Do you believe in coincidences? Luck? “Accidents”?
Although my answer changes every so often, at this current stage I’m in – I don’t.
Every little detail in the environment can have dramatic effects on a person’s course of life. It’s like looking for a star through a telescope; the slightest change in the telescope’s angle can move the view of the star millions light-years away from where it was seen. Maybe our lives aren’t as inflated as that analogy, but it’s generally an example of what I’m trying to say. This is why we need to be watchful in how we act, what we say and do to others... because you just never know the extent of its byproduct.
Everything happens for a reason... and as often as people say it, I seem to lose sight of that fact when things aren’t going my way. God is in full control of what’s happening. I just need to acknowledge this truth and allow Him to steer my life in the proper direction...
I was humbled over this weekend. And a note to everyone: please don’t gossip. If you would like to know how I feel about gossiping, please refer to my blog called “just be quiet” written in March... that’ll get your mojo going.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
A $20 Journey
It’s funny how things work out... okay, I started with $0.
- Received $20 from red pocket money --> +$20
- Bought 2 Old Navy t-shirts (1 for me, 1 for Alan) 2 for $20 --> -$20
- Alan paid me back --> +$10
- Bought dinner from Famosa --> -$5
- Bought 2 Vita Lemon Tea juice boxes (1 for me, 1 for Neil) --> -$2.50
... to summarize, I only have $2.50 right now. This is where the neat things happen:
- Went to a dinner at Albert L’s & Brian paid my share because I didn’t have enough $ --> $0
- Brought lunch to church & ate dinner at home --> $0
- Went to dinner w/ Jason & Jordan (today after meeting), Jason treated (but we’ll pay him back the next time around) --> $0
- Was waiting for a bus after dinner, when a very tall white guy asked me for the time and if I had change for a $10 to take the bus. I gave him the $2.50 (exact amount for bus fare) --> -$2.50
He wanted to give me the $10 bill he had in exchange for my change, but I refused. He then took out a $1 American bill and tried to give it to me, but said I said not to worry and to simply do something nice for a stranger when he gets a chance (Pay it Forward!). - “I am from Europe and no one there is like this. You’re a very kind person, thank you.” --> priceless.
His comment made my day... yes, I’m at $0 again, but who knows what wonderful things this man can do when he’s in a good mood also. ^_^
Monday, July 25, 2005
take me on Your wings & fly
Well, I’m leaving for Nicaragua soon (Aug 5, 4am)... and to be brutally honest, underneath the calm cool surface, I’m petrified inside!!
What if I screw something up?
What if I’m the cause of someone turning away from God?
What if I get lost or lose my luggage?
What if someone steals my passport?
What if someone gets hurt? Or worse, DIE?
What if someone gets sick or contracts a disease?
What if something happens on the flight?
... ugh... what if I’m not ready to go? What if it’s not my time to go on missions yet? How was it that I was so confident in this being God’s will for me before and now I’m swamped with doubt? Get away from me, Satan! STOP FILLING MY HEAD WITH UNCERTAINTY!
-------------
My uncle Francis on my dad’s side of the family pledged $100 cdn for me to go on this trip... as you have heard from previous blogs, I’m not super close to my dad’s side. I’m so encouraged to see him making an effort to support me... it gives me comfort that this may well be God’s will... but in the back of my mind, I sometimes wonder if doing this because he supports me and this trip, or if it is done out of guilt because this family had once deserted my nuclear family when we were having problems...
I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. =o) Thank you, Uncle Francis.
What if I screw something up?
What if I’m the cause of someone turning away from God?
What if I get lost or lose my luggage?
What if someone steals my passport?
What if someone gets hurt? Or worse, DIE?
What if someone gets sick or contracts a disease?
What if something happens on the flight?
... ugh... what if I’m not ready to go? What if it’s not my time to go on missions yet? How was it that I was so confident in this being God’s will for me before and now I’m swamped with doubt? Get away from me, Satan! STOP FILLING MY HEAD WITH UNCERTAINTY!
-------------
My uncle Francis on my dad’s side of the family pledged $100 cdn for me to go on this trip... as you have heard from previous blogs, I’m not super close to my dad’s side. I’m so encouraged to see him making an effort to support me... it gives me comfort that this may well be God’s will... but in the back of my mind, I sometimes wonder if doing this because he supports me and this trip, or if it is done out of guilt because this family had once deserted my nuclear family when we were having problems...
I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. =o) Thank you, Uncle Francis.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
waves of bitter water
For those who visit my blog often:
The blog that had come and gone has done more harm than good, which explains its sudden disappearance. In my resentment, I wrote that blog for no better reason other than sheer selfish entertainment and attention. I shouldn’t have left it open to the public because the situation involved more than myself. My friends, thank you for your concern. I know it takes a lot of effort to ask me about certain sensitive topics. I realize how much damage a little venting could do...
Which brings me to the main point: Think before you speak.
That goes for me also, of course. This quote has been said everywhere and by everyone one point in time... but its simplicity may be the cause of its unsuccessfulness.
Who knows what ripples our words can cause in another’s tranquil surface?
My heart is breaking for any of you who I have hurt unknowingly... I’m so sorry... please tell me so I can change my ignorant ways.
The blog that had come and gone has done more harm than good, which explains its sudden disappearance. In my resentment, I wrote that blog for no better reason other than sheer selfish entertainment and attention. I shouldn’t have left it open to the public because the situation involved more than myself. My friends, thank you for your concern. I know it takes a lot of effort to ask me about certain sensitive topics. I realize how much damage a little venting could do...
Which brings me to the main point: Think before you speak.
That goes for me also, of course. This quote has been said everywhere and by everyone one point in time... but its simplicity may be the cause of its unsuccessfulness.
Who knows what ripples our words can cause in another’s tranquil surface?
My heart is breaking for any of you who I have hurt unknowingly... I’m so sorry... please tell me so I can change my ignorant ways.
Monday, June 27, 2005
hidden falsehoods
About 3 months ago, I had started a book called Lies Women Believe (and the truth that sets them free) by Nancy DeMoss. Recently, I felt compelled to share some of these lies to you. I’m not going to list them all, but I will tell of the ones I once believed in and consumed me.
- God’s ways are too restrictive
- I need to learn to love myself
- I can’t help the way I am
- I should not have to live with unfulfilled longings
- I can sin and get away with it
- My sins aren’t really that bad
- I am not fully responsible for my actions and reactions
- I cannot walk in consistent victory over sin
- I don’t have time to do everything I’m supposed to do
- I can make it without consistent time in the Word and prayer
- I can’t control my emotions
Most of these are gender neutral, I’d say. I still continue to struggle w/ some of them, but I feel like if I open up and share my guarded thoughts and beliefs, you can help me stay grounded in what’s true. Remember, these are LIES... if you feel they are true, analyze yourself and seek through God’s Word for authentic answers... it may be the devil’s foothold on you.
Friday, June 24, 2005
a simple story
I was at TLT, when Janet asked me about missions.
I told her I wanted to go, but I have to ask for permission.
To serve in this way, was always a passion.
But by my mother’s refusal, plans are left for revision.
Lost ambition, poor reasons,
I’m 20 years old, I need to make my own decisions!
So that same night, I joined Habitat for Humanity
Nicaragua is the place, to build houses for families
That was destroyed by Hurricane Mitch, back in the late 1990’s
And they are still recovering, due to the lack of money,
Unstable economy and forced poverty.
I made this commitment, without consulting with mother
I had to wait a few days, before I could even tell her
I was afraid of what she’d say, because I knew this would bug her.
But I felt this time may be different; maybe God made her softer.
So on Sunday, I decided to tell her
And the reaction expressed that, I did more than just bug her.
She said, “Julie-ah, le goa ga-ting sui-yeew nae
(Julie, this family needs you)
Deem-gie nae yew zuaw, loui see-see bong yun-day?
(Why do you need to go to always help others?)
Ngoa yew lay, deem-gie na mm lay?
(I need you, why don’t you care?)
Ngoa yerng zoa nae ya-neen, hie-mm-hie ngoa sai sie ngoa sum-gae?
(I raised you for 20 years, was I wasting my time?)
Nae hie-mm-hie sai sie ngoa sum hoot, ngoa hie-mm-hie jun hie yerng choa nae?
(Are you going to waste my sweat and blood? Am I going to regret having you?)"
I was so heartbroken by her words that pierced me
She wouldn’t even listen and kept cutting me off rudely.
With tears in my eyes, I shut the door behind me.
In my room I stayed, in confusion that overwhelmed me.
There was nothing else to do, but to trust god fully,
So I opened my Bible & saw James 1:19-20.
It told me to “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
I thought, “This is crazy, He’s speaking to me!”
So I kept reading, every verse earnestly...
Man, did God show himself, though I expected much less
And it was only a few verses down; God was quicker, I guess.
It said to “look after orphans and widows in their distress”
I mean, what more can He say, to tidy this mess?
I must confess, I must stress,
That this test of faith was a challenging success
I know this missions trip, is my calling
But to go without mom’s blessing, can leave me bawling
And although this issue, is still resolving
My impatience is kicking, it seems like God is stalling
To change my mom’s heart and grant her understanding...
But I know everything comes, in God’s perfect timing.
---------
Note to readers:
TLT = The Lord's Table = a student-run weekly sandwich-run group.
I wrote this in one night and some wording could've been better.
What my mom said was in Cantonese (sorry, I can't write in Chinese).
The above situation happened almost a month ago and currently, things did work out and now my mom is okay with me going to Nicaragua! YAY! =o)
I told her I wanted to go, but I have to ask for permission.
To serve in this way, was always a passion.
But by my mother’s refusal, plans are left for revision.
Lost ambition, poor reasons,
I’m 20 years old, I need to make my own decisions!
So that same night, I joined Habitat for Humanity
Nicaragua is the place, to build houses for families
That was destroyed by Hurricane Mitch, back in the late 1990’s
And they are still recovering, due to the lack of money,
Unstable economy and forced poverty.
I made this commitment, without consulting with mother
I had to wait a few days, before I could even tell her
I was afraid of what she’d say, because I knew this would bug her.
But I felt this time may be different; maybe God made her softer.
So on Sunday, I decided to tell her
And the reaction expressed that, I did more than just bug her.
She said, “Julie-ah, le goa ga-ting sui-yeew nae
(Julie, this family needs you)
Deem-gie nae yew zuaw, loui see-see bong yun-day?
(Why do you need to go to always help others?)
Ngoa yew lay, deem-gie na mm lay?
(I need you, why don’t you care?)
Ngoa yerng zoa nae ya-neen, hie-mm-hie ngoa sai sie ngoa sum-gae?
(I raised you for 20 years, was I wasting my time?)
Nae hie-mm-hie sai sie ngoa sum hoot, ngoa hie-mm-hie jun hie yerng choa nae?
(Are you going to waste my sweat and blood? Am I going to regret having you?)"
I was so heartbroken by her words that pierced me
She wouldn’t even listen and kept cutting me off rudely.
With tears in my eyes, I shut the door behind me.
In my room I stayed, in confusion that overwhelmed me.
There was nothing else to do, but to trust god fully,
So I opened my Bible & saw James 1:19-20.
It told me to “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
I thought, “This is crazy, He’s speaking to me!”
So I kept reading, every verse earnestly...
Man, did God show himself, though I expected much less
And it was only a few verses down; God was quicker, I guess.
It said to “look after orphans and widows in their distress”
I mean, what more can He say, to tidy this mess?
I must confess, I must stress,
That this test of faith was a challenging success
I know this missions trip, is my calling
But to go without mom’s blessing, can leave me bawling
And although this issue, is still resolving
My impatience is kicking, it seems like God is stalling
To change my mom’s heart and grant her understanding...
But I know everything comes, in God’s perfect timing.
---------
Note to readers:
TLT = The Lord's Table = a student-run weekly sandwich-run group.
I wrote this in one night and some wording could've been better.
What my mom said was in Cantonese (sorry, I can't write in Chinese).
The above situation happened almost a month ago and currently, things did work out and now my mom is okay with me going to Nicaragua! YAY! =o)
Monday, June 06, 2005
hear me ROAR
Today was the ETCBC softball tournament. It was FUNTASTIC! My team consisted of: Tracy, May, Ankie, Steve, Alan, John, Will, Keith, me and our leader, Matt. Although we were 0-4, I had such a great time! Most of the people I just met today, but just being able to get to know and play with these people is an awesome experience in itself.
I love the Lions.
We’ve had our rocky moments and are currently in some rough waves now, but I think it’s the people that make CCSA a worthwhile affair. I’m so excited to spend time with this group that I stay awake at night, trying to think of activities we can do together... yes, lame, I know. Those who aren’t coming out as much are totally missing out on how remarkable each personality is. It seems like we’ve been friends for so long, but in actual fact, we’re practically acquaintances...
Some of these ideas include:
I love the Lions.
We’ve had our rocky moments and are currently in some rough waves now, but I think it’s the people that make CCSA a worthwhile affair. I’m so excited to spend time with this group that I stay awake at night, trying to think of activities we can do together... yes, lame, I know. Those who aren’t coming out as much are totally missing out on how remarkable each personality is. It seems like we’ve been friends for so long, but in actual fact, we’re practically acquaintances...
Some of these ideas include:
- BBQs galore!
- Paintball night! (with possibly Illuminate players also)
- Video games adventure day! <-- bringing TV’s and game systems to someone’s house to
- have the ULTIMATE GAMING CHALLENGE!
- Beach Day!
- Bowling Tournament!
- CRANIUM competition!
- Mini track and field day! (other teams have the option of joining)
- Playing non-softball sports! E.g. Volleyball, Basketball, Ultimate Frisbee, Football, etc.
- Cooking dinner together!
- Rented Movies Marathon!
- Possible over-night event?
Technically, these ideas can be used with any group. So, feel free to take these suggestions and use it to its fullest potential! I urge you to do so! ^_^
Sunday, June 05, 2005
your needs above my own
I can’t tell you how amazing it feels to be a part of God’s family... Life feels so warm and so comforting. I’m so terribly blessed with all the people God’s put in my life (Christian and non-Christian); it seems like I could do so much more for them! How can you express the love and thanks to those around you, who have taken part to shape the person you are today?
Mere words, I feel, aren’t enough.
Friendship, to me, goes so much deeper than surface-conversations and hanging-out. There’s selflessness – putting the other person’s needs above your own; honesty – no hidden motives, no need to “swear” something is true, no lying; sacrifice – dropping whatever it is you’re doing when they need you; patience & forgiveness – everyone screws up, misunderstands, is stubborn, gets defensive at one point in time, how long does it take to pardon their actions? Empathy – rejoice when you rejoice, weep when you weep, understanding & compassion; Acceptance – even with our imperfections (not tolerance, since tolerance implies “settling” for something other than what you want); Support – not agreement... knowing the other person is there for you whether or not they concur with what you’re doing (other than sinning <- don’t support that)...
Underlying all of that is love. Love Love Love. A simple word with a complex and subjective definition.
Mere words, I feel, aren’t enough.
Friendship, to me, goes so much deeper than surface-conversations and hanging-out. There’s selflessness – putting the other person’s needs above your own; honesty – no hidden motives, no need to “swear” something is true, no lying; sacrifice – dropping whatever it is you’re doing when they need you; patience & forgiveness – everyone screws up, misunderstands, is stubborn, gets defensive at one point in time, how long does it take to pardon their actions? Empathy – rejoice when you rejoice, weep when you weep, understanding & compassion; Acceptance – even with our imperfections (not tolerance, since tolerance implies “settling” for something other than what you want); Support – not agreement... knowing the other person is there for you whether or not they concur with what you’re doing (other than sinning <- don’t support that)...
Underlying all of that is love. Love Love Love. A simple word with a complex and subjective definition.
Why do I love Jesus? Because He has done all the above and has gone the extra mile for me. The real question is, how can I NOT love Him?
I want to be all of that and more to my friends and family... but as the old saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words.”
--------------------
Jog Progress Report:
I RAN THE 10K WITHOUT STOPPING!! 64 min was my time... and though it's slower than a lot of ppl, my goal was completed. From running 11 minutes to 64 minutes; goes to show that anything is possible (with a little sweat and motivation from a good friend). ^_^
Thursday, May 19, 2005
So I haven’t blogged in a while... mainly because I’ve been super busy w/ stuff, like school, fellowship stuff, vball, outings, etc. Since the last time I blogged, I did activities I have never done before! Things like:
------------
Jog Progress Report:
I RAN 10.2 K ON THE TREADMILL!! It took me 68 minutes of straight running.
On a different day, I jogged from my house to the Food Basic’s @ V.P/Sheppard and back again.
As for my outdoor report:
Through intense measuring of my neighbourhood on MapQuest, I discovered that I’m only running a little less than 3K before I can’t go any further. That takes me a good 25 minutes to do.
- Rock climbing
- Latin dancing lessons
- Clubbing with the vball team
- Jogging on the Boardwalk
- Played 1st base for softball
- Hung out w/ Monday-night vball guys
- Paintballing
- Went to a pub w/ a big group of church peeps
- “Swimming” at the Manulife Centre Goodlife w/ Asako
- Played indoor beach vball
- Went to YukYuk’s
Good times...
------------
Jog Progress Report:
I RAN 10.2 K ON THE TREADMILL!! It took me 68 minutes of straight running.
On a different day, I jogged from my house to the Food Basic’s @ V.P/Sheppard and back again.
As for my outdoor report:
Through intense measuring of my neighbourhood on MapQuest, I discovered that I’m only running a little less than 3K before I can’t go any further. That takes me a good 25 minutes to do.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
relieved
I knew the lump was one of the 3... thank God it wasn’t #3. It was an enflamed lymph node! It was most likely caused by shaving and bacteria got under my skin, thus making the lymph node swell. Gross, eh? But apparently it’s somewhat common... it’s supposed to go away in a week or 2. o_O
I went to jog with Will J at the beaches today! First time there only to jog. It was great; there were so many people (of all ages) simply jogging and being active... makes me want to be healthier. =o)
--------
Jog Progress Report:
5 minutes of a light warm-up jog, then stretched.
10 minutes regular jog, and then walked 5 minutes,
2 minutes of fast jog, then walked for 5 minutes.
I went to jog with Will J at the beaches today! First time there only to jog. It was great; there were so many people (of all ages) simply jogging and being active... makes me want to be healthier. =o)
--------
Jog Progress Report:
5 minutes of a light warm-up jog, then stretched.
10 minutes regular jog, and then walked 5 minutes,
2 minutes of fast jog, then walked for 5 minutes.
Monday, April 18, 2005
even giants fall
What’s worse than discovering a bruise on your body, that got there without you knowing? ... I’ll tell you what's worse... discovering a lump.
This morning in the shower, I found a lump in my right armpit. IN – not on.
It’s like the size of a pea, it’s hard and it doesn’t hurt. You can’t see it if I were to just lift my arm, but you can definately feel it.
I’m getting it checked out on Tuesday at a walk-in clinic. Mother said it should be nothing, but as much as I respect her and hope she’s right, how does she know?
From what I’ve learned, I think it could be 1 of 3 things:
This morning in the shower, I found a lump in my right armpit. IN – not on.
It’s like the size of a pea, it’s hard and it doesn’t hurt. You can’t see it if I were to just lift my arm, but you can definately feel it.
I’m getting it checked out on Tuesday at a walk-in clinic. Mother said it should be nothing, but as much as I respect her and hope she’s right, how does she know?
From what I’ve learned, I think it could be 1 of 3 things:
- a clogged &/or swollen sweat gland
- an enflamed lymph node
- cancer
If you have time, please pray for this... I know I shouldn't be, but I’m scared...
-_-"
Saturday, April 16, 2005
not pedophilic tendencies
Yesterday, my volleyball team (THE COURT JESTERS! WOOT!) took me out for drinks and eats at Fox & the Fiddle. Good times, might I say. Would it surprise you if I said I was the youngest one? What if I said, 2 of them are 4 years older than I and the other 3 are 7 years older? Sounds a little more unusual, doesn’t it? I’m 20, they’re 27... when they were 20, I was 13 (but obviously, I didn't know them at the time)...
I’ve played with these people for almost 2 years now and I still can’t get over that fact... but if I’ve learned anything from these people, it's that friendship is only skin deep if age is a distinguishing feature. I learned that no matter how old or how young some people are, as long as their personalities match; it’s all good. What is age, but the time spent since leaving a mother’s womb? It doesn’t always determine how someone acts or thinks... though most believe that everyone hits “maturity” in their mid 20’s, than their lives are only busied with their career, independence, and (present/future) family.
That’s not the case, I imagine. It’s like, when I was 16 and anxiously looking forward to losing the “girl” title and becoming a 19 year old “woman”... and than being hopelessly disenchanted when I realized it felt like I was still 16. AND THEN realizing I look exactly the same now as I did then... man, that is a real heartbreaker... where are my C-cup boobs?! *ha ha* (I’m only half kidding, btw... *heh heh… huh... >_<)
Anyway, the moral of the story is: don’t do drugs.
-----------
Jog Progress Report:
I jogged for 11 minutes, 7 minutes @ 5 km/h and 4 minutes @ like 3 km/h.
It was a lot easier! Symptoms:
Ear ache (from wind), slightly light-headed for a short while...
10K Run, HERE I COME!
^_^
I’ve played with these people for almost 2 years now and I still can’t get over that fact... but if I’ve learned anything from these people, it's that friendship is only skin deep if age is a distinguishing feature. I learned that no matter how old or how young some people are, as long as their personalities match; it’s all good. What is age, but the time spent since leaving a mother’s womb? It doesn’t always determine how someone acts or thinks... though most believe that everyone hits “maturity” in their mid 20’s, than their lives are only busied with their career, independence, and (present/future) family.
That’s not the case, I imagine. It’s like, when I was 16 and anxiously looking forward to losing the “girl” title and becoming a 19 year old “woman”... and than being hopelessly disenchanted when I realized it felt like I was still 16. AND THEN realizing I look exactly the same now as I did then... man, that is a real heartbreaker... where are my C-cup boobs?! *ha ha* (I’m only half kidding, btw... *heh heh… huh... >_<)
Anyway, the moral of the story is: don’t do drugs.
-----------
Jog Progress Report:
I jogged for 11 minutes, 7 minutes @ 5 km/h and 4 minutes @ like 3 km/h.
It was a lot easier! Symptoms:
Ear ache (from wind), slightly light-headed for a short while...
10K Run, HERE I COME!
^_^
Thursday, April 14, 2005
R.I.P: adipose tissues
Say goodbye to:
- XL bowls of Pho
- 4 double-cheese burgers in one sitting
- 3 jr bacon cheese burgers
- Getting my money’s worth at buffets
- Ice cream for breakfast
- Extra buttery potato goods
- Bumming around on nice-weathered days...
BECAUSE yesterday, I heard my most dreaded comment I had tried to avoid my whole life... and it came from Brian’s mom... on my birthday...
(Translated from Cantonese to English:)
"WA! Julie-a, did you get fatter?"
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! IT’S TRUE!! IT’S ALL FREAKIN’ TRUE!! I DID!!!! MAMA NOOOO!!! -_-"
My face is a little rounder; my muscles are a little softer; my pants, a little tighter... and the scale that never lies... DANG IT!!!!! All those days, gently stepping on the scale (thinking it wouldn’t go as high if I did so), fooling myself to believe that I didn’t gain THAT much weight... has been SLAPPED AWAY WITH REALITY’S CALLOUS HANDS!! WHACK!!
“…hey guys, look over there... there goes my dignity...”
My action plan of summer 2005:
I’m going to run the Nike 10K run (May 29)... non-stop. My new training schedule is to (try to)run 20 minutes a day, at least 3 times a week.
I know you kind-hearted souls out there will try to tell me I’m not fat or I don’t need to lose weight, BUT please don’t do it – don’t tell me. This, technically speaking, is also a healthy living issue. And, also, I don’t take comments about my physical appearance well (positive or negative)... so if you want to help, just pray that I won’t lose my motivation.
As often as it’s affirmed through media; a women’s self-esteem, is directly proportional to their self-worth which is constructed by the amount/type of criticism on their weight and appearance. This isn’t true for many women these days, but I confess that I do have this problem. I can’t take criticism; complements make me prideful, insults make me distraught. What else is there to do than to not say anything at all...
-------------
Jog Progress Report:
Today, I ran for 9 minutes, about 4 km/h & walked the rest of the 11 minutes.
I practically passed out by the end of it – symptoms:
Light headed, saw black spots (for about a minute), numb legs (3 minutes), aching eardrums due to wind (8 minutes), tough time inhaling (5 minutes), chest pains (2 minutes)
Sunday, April 10, 2005
about blogging
I probably sound like a very depressed, short-termpered pessimist according to the way I sound on my blog...
Don't mean to scare you; I'm not usually like this. In fact, 95% of the time I'm in LaLa Land; laughing my brains out with bunnies and sunflowers.
I just feel that stories are more entertaining for the readers when the author is at the very climax of their emotional state. i.e. enraged, ecstatic, miserable, etc. That's why I usually blog sporadically about things that really impact me (or things I feel compelled to share). So, I hope it doesn't seem like I'm yelling at you all the time... because I'm only doing it occasionally, when it really matters at the time. You're my ventilation system!
So now you may be thinking, "Who is she talking to when she refers to 'you'?!"
*heh* ... wouldn't you like to know... O_O
Don't mean to scare you; I'm not usually like this. In fact, 95% of the time I'm in LaLa Land; laughing my brains out with bunnies and sunflowers.
I just feel that stories are more entertaining for the readers when the author is at the very climax of their emotional state. i.e. enraged, ecstatic, miserable, etc. That's why I usually blog sporadically about things that really impact me (or things I feel compelled to share). So, I hope it doesn't seem like I'm yelling at you all the time... because I'm only doing it occasionally, when it really matters at the time. You're my ventilation system!
So now you may be thinking, "Who is she talking to when she refers to 'you'?!"
*heh* ... wouldn't you like to know... O_O
Saturday, April 09, 2005
O
The Oracles…
What comes to mind when you think of this team?
That they’re “hardcore”? “Snobby”? “Over competitive”? “Only cares about winning”? Something along that line?
Well, let me tell you that I know what it’s like to be an Oracle firsthand and I can tell you that you’re all wrong. People (Christians and non-Christians alike) judge us so negatively when they are too close-minded to see past rumors and lies. What have you seen beyond the playing field?
Have you seen that we all go out to eat and chill during the week and after games?
Have you seen the msn conversations between players out of the softball?
Have you seen the closeness and the bonds that were formed and left unbroken after the season has ended?
Have you seen the tears, the sharing; the love that was poured out after our last game?
People have said we stack out team every year. Their proof is how everyone plays well. But did it ever occur to them that the reason is because players WANT to learn and coaches WANT to teach them? There are so many players who have never touched a softball, but because they wanted to learn and they tried their best, they looked like they can play. Oracles don’t ask us to be superstars. They don’t ask us to even have experience. All the Oracles want is for every player to try their best. Make an effort; to make games, practices, outings, but more importantly, make an effort to know each other.
My memories (most recent season):
- I remember talking to Steve O online before I even met him. He was so fun to talk to and we added each other to all these online communities and stuff.
- The 5 girls – Allison, Bernice, Sam, Judy and I – would do these only-girls hang out times to watch movies and for dinners and stuff.
- There were nights when all the people at practice would time each other to see how long it takes for each person to run from home plate to 1st base
- Matt had his pants fly off while he was running... he was THAT fast. = )
- Joe had iced tea split on him when we were at Swiss Chalet
- Everyone wanted to bat all the time in practices and we’d try to go until we absolutely couldn’t.
- Sam asking to be drilled; tossing balls quickly at her & her running around to catch them
- Judy willingly making all those little candy packages for all the teams we played
- Dan making up a cheer for us to “Jump! Jump!” and tossing Thumper around
How I’ve changed?
- I learned that a group of strangers can become family in the span of 2 months
- I came to realize that no matter how many times people say they “don’t judge by appearances”, they don’t truly know until they’re your friend.
Every year I was an Oracle, this team wasn’t just a team; it was family. MY family. Say what you will about us, but until you become an Oracle yourself, everything you say are just assumptions.
What comes to mind when you think of this team?
That they’re “hardcore”? “Snobby”? “Over competitive”? “Only cares about winning”? Something along that line?
Well, let me tell you that I know what it’s like to be an Oracle firsthand and I can tell you that you’re all wrong. People (Christians and non-Christians alike) judge us so negatively when they are too close-minded to see past rumors and lies. What have you seen beyond the playing field?
Have you seen that we all go out to eat and chill during the week and after games?
Have you seen the msn conversations between players out of the softball?
Have you seen the closeness and the bonds that were formed and left unbroken after the season has ended?
Have you seen the tears, the sharing; the love that was poured out after our last game?
People have said we stack out team every year. Their proof is how everyone plays well. But did it ever occur to them that the reason is because players WANT to learn and coaches WANT to teach them? There are so many players who have never touched a softball, but because they wanted to learn and they tried their best, they looked like they can play. Oracles don’t ask us to be superstars. They don’t ask us to even have experience. All the Oracles want is for every player to try their best. Make an effort; to make games, practices, outings, but more importantly, make an effort to know each other.
My memories (most recent season):
- I remember talking to Steve O online before I even met him. He was so fun to talk to and we added each other to all these online communities and stuff.
- The 5 girls – Allison, Bernice, Sam, Judy and I – would do these only-girls hang out times to watch movies and for dinners and stuff.
- There were nights when all the people at practice would time each other to see how long it takes for each person to run from home plate to 1st base
- Matt had his pants fly off while he was running... he was THAT fast. = )
- Joe had iced tea split on him when we were at Swiss Chalet
- Everyone wanted to bat all the time in practices and we’d try to go until we absolutely couldn’t.
- Sam asking to be drilled; tossing balls quickly at her & her running around to catch them
- Judy willingly making all those little candy packages for all the teams we played
- Dan making up a cheer for us to “Jump! Jump!” and tossing Thumper around
How I’ve changed?
- I learned that a group of strangers can become family in the span of 2 months
- I came to realize that no matter how many times people say they “don’t judge by appearances”, they don’t truly know until they’re your friend.
Every year I was an Oracle, this team wasn’t just a team; it was family. MY family. Say what you will about us, but until you become an Oracle yourself, everything you say are just assumptions.
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