Friday, May 07, 2010

worst way to go

Recently, it seems like a lot more people “closer” to me have been committing suicide. That's right, taking their own lives. Needless to say, I personally don't know these people, but they were/are friends of friends of mine. Even five-degrees of separation is already very uncomfortable for me.

Mind is blown into smithereens.

I can't fathom the intensity and volume of conscious/unconscious suicidal thoughts that filled someone's mind before deciding that killing themselves was the only solution. Was that the only way? There must've been SOMETHING or someone that could've done something to stop them?! ... right? Life is so precious and so amazing to experience... I don't understand...


How? Why? What went wrong? Who did this to you?


On the news a little while ago, there was a young psychiatrist in Hamilton who took her baby's life and her own life... a psychiatrist?!

A coworker told me her friend's dad committed suicide a couple weeks ago... a well-off, well-loved, near retirement man who over-dosed with anti-depressants and other drugs in his car one seemingly regular day.

My friend just told me today his childhood friend and current colleague jumped onto the tracks after his final med school exam... he was going to be a doctor... people who knew him would've ever guessed him to be suicidal.

... these stories break my heart so much... I wish there was something I can do... =(

2 comments:

Albert said...

in my fear of death, i too can hardly imagine someone actually desiring it.

how caught up do you have to be about something for it to be more important than the only existence you have ever known???

but i know one thought has been that maybe it's not so much they don't value life the way others do, but it's just how deeply hurt and alone they are.

may God help us care more in such a broken world.

Anonymous said...

In a society obsessed with quick fixes to misunderstood problems, it's a wonder it doesn't happen more often. A friend once said suicide is the ultimate of selfish acts that a person can thrust upon the world.

While having considered it myself at various junctures in my life, that comment alone has had a powerful influence. Its a swift jolt that reminds me to pull my head out of my own ass and look at the world around me. Obviously some have spun so far down the spiral, that despite the best efforts of those around them they still commit to a mortal end.

Does it make sense? Absolutely not but, few things seem to in a world that in the same moment can appear horrendously cruel, and astonishingly beautiful.