our story

This post is dedicated to Brian Leung.

So, Brian and I have been dating for 3.5 years (March 26th is our anniversary, thus September 26th would be the half point) and I don’t know about you, but that’s a crazy amount of time. My 2nd-longest relationship before Brian lasted exactly 30 days... we broke up right on our “one month”. It shocks me every time I think about it.

During this time, there were many ups and downs... events that have changed me and shaped me. Brian played a big part in my devotion to Christ and in turn, Christ has molded and become apart of every aspect of my life. I’m very thankful for him and Him; they’re the 2 biggest influences and 2 very important people to me.

And as a commemoration on the years past, I’m going to tell the story of how Brian and I got together (in 3rd person because it’s more amusing to write).

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It’s the winter of 2002 and Julie came to ETCBC like she has done for the past year, but now as a new Christian. She and her friend Helen sat in the front aisle. Before the music began, everyone was asked to stand up and greet the people around them. Brian and his friend David, who usually sat in the next row of pews, ended up sitting in the pew right behind Julie.

“Hello, I’m Julie.”
“Hi, I’m Brian.”

This was their first exchange of words.

About a month passed with little conversation between the 2. One day, after Sunday school, Julie and Brian were found stranded at church because everyone else had left for lunch without them. So they started talking and after a while, Julie mentioned to Brian that she needed to go to Toys ‘R Us to buy gifts for her little cousins, and being the gentleman that he was, he offered to go with her. As they walked and talked, they decided to go to lunch together at Memories of Japan.

They became good friends quickly and attraction between the 2 began to mound as they got to know each other more. As Christmas day approached, Brian and Julie ran into each other often and saw each other’s names in obscure places (i.e. a gift receipt, street signs, advertisements, etc.). It soon became evident that they liked one another and one strange conversation over ICQ and phone, they told each other how they felt.

Knowing they liked each other, it was very important that they find out whether or not God wanted them to be together. Julie, not knowing what it meant to “ask God” for guidance, was very dependant on Brian for what she should be doing.

“Just pray and read the Bible,” he said, “You’ll know when it’s God speaking.”

So, for the next 3 months, they both earnestly prayed and did devotionals – waiting for God’s response.

One night, as Julie was reading through Matthew, she had to go to the washroom midway through. She placed her pen where she had left off and went. When she returned, the pen was at a completely different section of the Bible; the first page of Ecclesiastes! On and on it went about how things were meaningless... she began to feel as if this was a sign and that they shouldn’t be together. But determined to finish the book, she kept reading and came along to a passage that read,
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12

Julie phoned Brian immediately after reading this and told him about the passage. To his surprise, that was the exact same passage as the one his previous girlfriend had read when they were deciding whether or not to date (and as their title states, they did date). Crazy isn’t it? Anyway, not too long after, Brian began to feel as though God was leading them to get together also. Then, after months of waiting, praying, and seeking, on March 26th, 2002 around 1:30am, Brian asked her out.

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Ahhh, the memories... I wish I can remember them all... -_-"

I love you, Brian. =o)

truths & half-truths

To me, there's no such thing as a half-truth; they’re as good as lies.

For example, it’s like someone in a chat room telling a little girl, “yes, I’m young...” and leaving out, “young at heart.” Or asking A/S/L (age/sex/location) and someone replying, “17/F/Canada…” leaving out, “40 years ago I was 17, which is when I had my sex change in Canada.”

I’ll be honest; I’m pretty anal when it comes to people telling me lies and “half-truths”. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt that what they’re saying is true all the time... so when I find out they’ve lied to me, it makes me feel like I’ve wasted my time fully trusting them. But another problem is that I’m very gullible and I give my trust to everyone until they lose it... please don’t make things difficult by lying.

“White lies.” I don’t like those either. If I ask you how you are and you tell me you’re okay when you face tells me otherwise, how am I supposed to react?
1. This tells me you might be lying.
2. It tells me you either don’t trust me enough to tell me what’s wrong or you just don’t want me to worry about you, which is already too late because I’ll worry about you even more now that you won’t tell me what the problem is.
3. You have one less person who can pray for you and give you support and be there for you.

Also, if I ask you if I look okay in some item of clothing, but in fact, I look like road-kill – tell me please! I’d rather know the truth and I’ll be thankful for your honesty. Oh, which reminds me, for those who can’t handle the truth - suck it up and move on... it’s not worth your time or energy to have negative feelings lingering over what someone said to you that was truthful. In fact, it takes a lot more courage to tell someone the truth than a lie, thus be appreciative of what you hear.

“Over exaggerations” are fine when it’s obvious and unmistakably an over exaggeration. But when done too subtly, it has the potential to seem like a lie. For example, someone is trying to convince you of something and they say, “yeah, everyone feels this way” when in fact, only a few people do – that’s deceptive.

“Above all, my brothers, do not swear—not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your "Yes" be yes, and your "No," no, or you will be condemned.” - James 5:12

A walk through Proverbs

For the past month or so, I’ve been reading Proverbs for my devo. I wanted to post a small blurb about the verses that stuck to me at the end of each blog, but never got around to it until now (since I wake up every 2 hours, this is the 3rd night in a row and today I’ve been up since 7am). I’m in chapter 20 now, so to catch up, I’m simply going to write out the verses and not explain their significance to me unless it hit my like a football in the groin. (The bolded ones are the ones I want you to read if you don't feel like reading them all). There are some pretty wise quotes in Proverbs; you should read it also.

“My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.” - Proverbs 3:21-24

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.” - Proverbs 4:23-27

“Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning.” - Proverbs 9:8-9

“Be sure of this: The wicked will not go unpunished, but those who are righteous will go free.” - Proverbs 11:21

“One man pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth. A man's riches may ransom his life, but a poor man hears no threat.” - Proverbs 13:7-8

“Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” - Proverbs 13:10

“Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox comes an abundant harvest.” - Proverbs 14:10

“Stern discipline awaits him who leaves the path; he who hates correction will die.” - Proverbs 15:10

“A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.” - Proverbs 15:30

“The fear of the LORD teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor.” - Proverbs 15:33

“To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue.” - Proverbs 16:1 ---> This one really made me think... probably because I didn’t understand it. But I did a little research and from what I found, this verse tells us how God instills His plans into our hearts with the Holy Spirit, but it is only through His power that it will be done.

“The LORD works out everything for his own ends— even the wicked for a day of disaster.” - Proverbs 16:4 ---> This was also a loud verse, mainly because I have struggles with fully depending on God. This verse reminded me of how He is in control of everything – despite all our failures and imperfections, He can still use us in His plans ... ~sigh~ I need to trust Him more...

“There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” - Proverbs 16:25 ---> Ah ha! This is why I am never certain about my decisions, because what may seem so right to me may not be what God wants me to do... I learned from an excellent exercise book (Experiencing God) that whenever God reveals His plans to you, He'll always confirm it through the Bible, prayer, the church, and your Christian community.

“Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.” - Proverbs 16:32

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” - Proverbs 17:22

“A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.” - Proverbs 18:2

“The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.” - Proverbs 18:17 ---> You see, this is why I hate gossip. Things like this are so obvious, yet so unspoken... good ol’ Proverbs

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” - Proverbs 18:21

“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” - Proverbs 18:24 ---> this one made me tear...

“Laziness brings on deep sleep, and the shiftless man goes hungry.” - Proverbs 19:15

I’m sick...

My symptoms:

• Persistent cough
• Due to the amount of coughing, I’m developing abdominal pain
• Extremely painful soar throat (to the point where I tear just swallowing my saliva)
• Occasional weakness (but that may be for today only because I played in a Korean softball tournament for 10 hours, living only on water, Poweraid, a bagel w/ nothing on it and a cheese bun)
• Quickly change in temperature (I might be developing a fever...)
• Tiredness

My main problem is the throat... I looked up some of my symptoms and I think it may be one of 4 things:

1. Strep Throat
2. Bronchitis
3. Cold or Flu
4. Pneumonia

Ugh... I feel like poo and look even worse... first the lump in my armpit and now this... Is God trying to tell me something? But to prevent any spreading and how I feel tomorrow, I might not attend church or the softball events I emailed people about... ~sigh~

Last night, I woke up at 5am coughing my brains out. I couldn't go back to sleep afterwards and basically rolled around and read the Bible until Brian called me at 8:30am about softball. this sucks. (KCSA softball was very fun, btw. We played 3 games, made it to the playoffs and lost to the only undefeated team by 2 runs)

Christian "sluts"

I know I’m opening a HUGE can of worms with this post, but I’m ready to take the consequences if any of this is eye-opening to anyone. (Warning: vulgar language used, readers’ discretion is advised)

By the sheer title of being “Christian”, we’re assumed to be witnesses and people of Christ. We are warned that the world is watching us and that we need to be good examples of the people God intended us to be. Thus note: this entry is mainly aimed to the Christian denomination. Okay, here comes the fun part...

“Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way.” - Romans 14:13 (NIV)

Part 1: The Judge
We need to stop judging the book by its cover (although, more often than not, the cover does tell quite a bit of its content). To prevent any disputes over the technicalities in my wording, I’m just going to say what I mean. We need to stop judging people by what they wear. Just because girls wear clothing with small surface areas, doesn’t mean they sleep around.

Part 2: The “Slut”
From what I’ve been told, males are very visual; easily stimulated by what they see. Most of us female attention-whores know this piece of information. The problem occurs when we use it to our advantage and deliberately wear provocative items of clothing to satisfy our need for attention. Okay, I understand that being fashionable is important and the trend that’s set can be a determining factor as to what is worn. I also know that it can be quite hot outside and having funny tan-lines with certain clothing could be a “fashion faux pas.” BUT as Christian women, it’s our duty to first fulfill God’s request for us to NOT be stumbling blocks for our brothers. I’m not going to list the things you should or should not wear because I think if you were able to choose God and call yourself a Christian, you’re also able to choose what you wear sensibly.
“Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.” - Colossians 3:5 (NIV)

Part 3: The Horny
Guys... you should know better, turn away. If you’re going clubbing or going somewhere where there are bound to be half naked chicks, you’re putting yourself in temptation... then it’s just a matter of how serious you take stumbling to be. What circumstances would you allow yourself to be placed in? That’s something you should figure out before you go exploring different strip joints. Only you know how much you can handle; only you can control your actions and thoughts; only you can draw the boundaries for yourself. Be mindful and intentional, it’s not always the girl’s fault.

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Romans 14 into perspective:

“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.” - Romans 14: 19-21

I’m somewhat taking verse 13 out of context because they are literally talking about food in this chapter, but I feel the principles from these verses can be applied to what I talked about above. Feel free to agree or disagree, but I do urge you to leave a comment about your views on this matter.

showing my ID

Most of you who know me, know I’m going through a slight identity crisis. I thought I was showing signs of improvement until I was recently told I should/need to change something about me... or what I think/thought was a part of who I am. I’m not going to state exactly what this characteristic is, but here’s the jist of it:

Everyone says, “You need to learn from your mistakes.”
If a mistake I made was hurting someone’s feelings, that means I need to learn from that experience and change whatever it is I did that hurt them, correct?
If that is the case, than does that mean I continuously change to please those around me? Most of us would disagree with that.

But tell me, where’s the flaw in this equation:
Mistake = learn + change
Mistake = Hurt feelings
Hurt feelings = learn + change

I know humans and human relationships are more complex than simple-minded formulas like the one above, but it baffles me to decipher what characteristics I should and shouldn’t change for the sake of other people’s wellbeing. It messes me up when people tell me to “just be real”, while at the same time being sensitive to those around me... especially when the two components conflict with one another.

I’ve talked to a few people about this problem and have acquired some new insight; it’s just a matter of time before I believe them...