On a scale of 1 to 10, I think I'm a 9... you know, in terms of happiness with life, that is.
More recently, I've been thinking about why that is. Sure, I can cop-out the Christian answer and say, “It's 'cause I know Jesus and He loves me... that's why I'm happy!” ... but really, there's gotta be more to it than that, right? Other Christians should be just as stoked about life too! Unfortunately, from what I've heard, that's not always the case. So what makes me different?
It's come to my attention that I have abnormally low expectations on people. Boyfriends, family members, mentors, teachers/profs, friends, small group... it doesn't phase me too much when things don't work out.
“Water under the bridge! Life moves on! Live & learn,” exclaims Julie!
Is this a good thing or a bad thing? ... I don't know.
PROS
- The volume of disappointments have definitely decreased.
- I'm not upset for extended periods of time.
- Dwelling on things doesn't happen often.
- When people exceed these expectations, I'm super happy! It's like a bonus!
- There aren't too many people on my “bad side.”
- I'm generally not easily offended.
- Good sleep all the time.
CONS
- The impression that I don't care is frequent.
- People are often offended when they figure out how low my expectations are on them.
- My memory is shot. (Because I don't dwell, I forget quickly – almost like cramming for an exam)
- Problems repeat themselves recurrently since I don't remember it happened.
As I type these bullet points, I can't help but feel like this is a very selfish way to live... at the same time, I simply can't help it! Why get hopes up when so many people are just going to disappoint? What happened to commitment and integrity and just blatant honesty?! Humans – myself included – are simply not reliable these days. I'm so pessimistic when it comes to finding a reliable friend, I make me sick. If you have a truly reliable friend; hold onto 'em for dear life because he/she is an endangered specie! Man, how depressing this whole entry is... please someone, prove me wrong! Shut me up!
I guess this is why I'm happy being a Christian – God is the unchanging, unconditionally loving, always present, unfailing, genuinely caring Lord of Everything... and He proved it by giving us His Son Jesus. Thank you, YHWH.
3 comments:
haha your hedonistic scale - but i suppose it reveals a thing or two!
In the name of blatant honesty:
Why get hopes up when so many people are just going to disappoint?
Why NOT?
How else were we ever going to break this vicious cycle of isolationism created by our culture of individualism?
People/community are unreliable (truth!) - but why surrender to that? why not hope for it's redemption - redemption towards people/community BEING RELIABLE and being part of that change?
If we are loyal to Christ and believe in His unchanging love, then would we not only have the vision of how humanity ought to be, but also the most important support to go make a change? What excuse do we have in NOT being on the front lines of reconciling relationships? (for ourselves and for others)
Will it be easy? No. Will we get burned along the way? Yes most definitely. But that should not deter us. To save a broken world I believe is to, in some shape or form, be broken along with it and to be brave enough to change it from within.
Then again, I deeply respect and am inspired by your ability to not dwell, to be incredible grateful, to count your blessings, and to not hold grudges. hmm.
thanks for the comment AK.
couple things:
- i don't think isolationism is created by individualism. Isolationism is a national effort to refuse political and economical help to a country that doesn't deserve it... for the sake of peace! i'm sure you're using it in a different context... but i'd thought i'd let you know anyway as the formal definition of isolationism is a political reference (to my understanding at least)
- in your ideal world... it sounds like everyone would be 100% reliable. what if, being super laid back? if everyone was so chill about things... i think it would be pretty good too, no? people still wouldn't get mad at each other and less people would be upset.
fight the good fight, albert. you're doing a good job
:) i was waiting until you replied here. and yes i'm using "isolationism" in a more individualistic (irony?) context here. haha
i think being laidback is more of an expression - either of confidence or apathy. i think you're thinking more of the former. i'm not sure how ideal is it for people to be laidback but yet unreliable. if there are little expectations on each other, then everyone is left to fend for themselves - which is to play exactly into the hands of individualism and against communal growth.
i'm not saying we should expect everything out of one another to the point that we aren't grateful or we forget the value of independence, but what i am saying is the value/depth of community is defined by inter-dependency. if we believe that a strong family or group of friends is that way because of how they support, serve, and depend on each other, shouldn't we allow ourselves to be available to that? shouldn't we hope for that? and put ourselves at risk for that? isn't that worth it?
to me, there is always risk in any relationship. the deeper the relationship, the greater the risk. but without that, then the relationship to me is disposable, and what can disposed of is cheap.
i know many of us do want to or do not believe in taking much risk because we've been so hurt and broken in the past. and though i can understand and do not belittle the scars, to not put risk in others is to believe that true community is unworthy or not possible. and it's there that I'm reminded that, with a unchanging loving God who calls us to be in community and promises to help make it happen, we must not admit defeat, we must not settle, and we must keep that hope alive. because as much as we will suffer for it, it just might be worth it.
thx for fighting with, you've been awesome. serious.
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