Well, I’m leaving for Nicaragua soon (Aug 5, 4am)... and to be brutally honest, underneath the calm cool surface, I’m petrified inside!!
What if I screw something up?
What if I’m the cause of someone turning away from God?
What if I get lost or lose my luggage?
What if someone steals my passport?
What if someone gets hurt? Or worse, DIE?
What if someone gets sick or contracts a disease?
What if something happens on the flight?
... ugh... what if I’m not ready to go? What if it’s not my time to go on missions yet? How was it that I was so confident in this being God’s will for me before and now I’m swamped with doubt? Get away from me, Satan! STOP FILLING MY HEAD WITH UNCERTAINTY!
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My uncle Francis on my dad’s side of the family pledged $100 cdn for me to go on this trip... as you have heard from previous blogs, I’m not super close to my dad’s side. I’m so encouraged to see him making an effort to support me... it gives me comfort that this may well be God’s will... but in the back of my mind, I sometimes wonder if doing this because he supports me and this trip, or if it is done out of guilt because this family had once deserted my nuclear family when we were having problems...
I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. =o) Thank you, Uncle Francis.
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