a simple story

I was at TLT, when Janet asked me about missions.
I told her I wanted to go, but I have to ask for permission.
To serve in this way, was always a passion.
But by my mother’s refusal, plans are left for revision.
Lost ambition, poor reasons,
I’m 20 years old, I need to make my own decisions!

So that same night, I joined Habitat for Humanity
Nicaragua is the place, to build houses for families
That was destroyed by Hurricane Mitch, back in the late 1990’s
And they are still recovering, due to the lack of money,
Unstable economy and forced poverty.

I made this commitment, without consulting with mother
I had to wait a few days, before I could even tell her
I was afraid of what she’d say, because I knew this would bug her.
But I felt this time may be different; maybe God made her softer.
So on Sunday, I decided to tell her
And the reaction expressed that, I did more than just bug her.

She said, “Julie-ah, le goa ga-ting sui-yeew nae
(Julie, this family needs you)
Deem-gie nae yew zuaw, loui see-see bong yun-day?
(Why do you need to go to always help others?)
Ngoa yew lay, deem-gie na mm lay?
(I need you, why don’t you care?)
Ngoa yerng zoa nae ya-neen, hie-mm-hie ngoa sai sie ngoa sum-gae?
(I raised you for 20 years, was I wasting my time?)
Nae hie-mm-hie sai sie ngoa sum hoot, ngoa hie-mm-hie jun hie yerng choa nae?
(Are you going to waste my sweat and blood? Am I going to regret having you?)"

I was so heartbroken by her words that pierced me
She wouldn’t even listen and kept cutting me off rudely.
With tears in my eyes, I shut the door behind me.
In my room I stayed, in confusion that overwhelmed me.
There was nothing else to do, but to trust god fully,
So I opened my Bible & saw James 1:19-20.
It told me to “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
I thought, “This is crazy, He’s speaking to me!”
So I kept reading, every verse earnestly...

Man, did God show himself, though I expected much less
And it was only a few verses down; God was quicker, I guess.
It said to “look after orphans and widows in their distress”
I mean, what more can He say, to tidy this mess?
I must confess, I must stress,
That this test of faith was a challenging success

I know this missions trip, is my calling
But to go without mom’s blessing, can leave me bawling
And although this issue, is still resolving
My impatience is kicking, it seems like God is stalling
To change my mom’s heart and grant her understanding...
But I know everything comes, in God’s perfect timing.

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Note to readers:
TLT = The Lord's Table = a student-run weekly sandwich-run group.
I wrote this in one night and some wording could've been better.
What my mom said was in Cantonese (sorry, I can't write in Chinese).
The above situation happened almost a month ago and currently, things did work out and now my mom is okay with me going to Nicaragua! YAY! =o)