Can you keep a secret?

I hate that question. But allow me to tell you what I mean when I say “secret.” Just for this blog entry, the term secret is a piece of information that has been told to you and doesn’t involve you. You, the receiver, have acquired a “secret”, and the teller is SHARING about themselves (not “telling a secret” because by this definition, to tell a secret is equivalent to gossiping). If you have a secret, than you now have the responsibility to KEEP IT A SECRET.

If someone trusts you enough to tell you something particular about themselves or something that happened to them, you better keep that trust by keeping your mouth shut. What kind of friend blabs? If you’re not trustworthy enough to keep a secret, what makes you think the new party you’re telling is anymore worthy of keeping it? Once you tell the secret, you’re now gossiping.

Sharing --> receiving a secret --> telling the secret --> gossiping

Also, if what you’re sharing includes more people than just yourself; THOSE OTHER PEOPLE BETTER KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TELLING TO OTHERS AND THAT THE THINGS YOU’RE TELLING ARE ACCURATE. It’s not just your story. And don’t make up BS and tell that BS like it’s true. What you have to understand is that stuff like this always goes back to those you don’t want to hear it...

It’s too late to undue damages, but the first step is to admit and apologize. Why can’t some people just keep their mouths shut? You know what this all goes back to; at the root?
Honesty.

1,2,3, more about me... dang, eh?

These “tag games” remind me of chain letters... But because I have no life, I’ll play along.
5 random facts about me:

1. The only thing that has ever made me lose my appetite (that I can remember) is seeing some very slutty, hairy, cross-dressing men on Jerry Springer.

2. I can’t cook anything other than breakfast food and instant things. Even when I fry pre-made dumplings, or heat spoon-n-bake cookies (right, Sam?), I somehow screw them up half the time. OH, and this one time, when I was really young, my brother and I burnt something really badly and all this smoke started coming out of the pot. So, remembering what we saw on those educational videos, we put the lid on and crawled out of the house on our stomachs... seeing how the thin layer of smoke against the ceiling could have killed us and all...

3. One of my past “goals” in life, before I became Christian, was to turn a gay man straight... somehow... o_O

4. I’ve been punched in the crotch so hard, that their fist penetrated my pelvic bone to the point where I was on the ground for a few minutes in pain... yeah, you don’t think stuff like this happens to girls... but apparently, they do.

5. Back in the day, in my old house, my brother and I would make a whole bunch of tents with our blankets and sticks. One time, we connected all the blankets and my mother walked into a living-room of tents... it was great. ^__^

Five people I would like to do this: Ken Leung, Sam Wong, Selina Wong, Willie Loo, Hazel Tenafrancia (I hope I spelt your last name correctly... o_O)... Richard Tsang, I believe you were tagged also, I want to see some things I don't know about you.

a royal pain

Someone once asked me, “why is your blog name: minutes to sanity?”
Well, to put the answer plainly, I thought I’d be ranting on about the things I like/dislike on it and that would, in effect, lower my insanity level... therefore, with each post, I become one step closer to being "sane"... whatever that means. o_O

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I overheard a girl telling her boyfriend (or husband or possibly brother) she saw a certain coat. She talked about how it was too expensive for her to buy it herself... how it was somewhat unnecessary... how much she wanted it, but couldn’t afford it since she has a low-paying job (apparently). Eventually, after saying a few times, “oh no, I don’t want you to spend so much money on me,” she allowed him to buy her the coat.

These types of girls piss me off. Dang princesses.

Even if you don’t mind paying and you consider $50 bills as loose change, you shouldn’t have to tolerate this kind of materialisticness. That’s just plain selfish on the girl’s part. By buying these “gifts”, you’re spoiling them and fencing them in their own acquisitive behavior. Don’t be stupid; show them how to appreciate what they already have. (Note: I’m being gender-specific because it’s easier to type... I know the roles could be switched in reality, but I believe this way is more common.)

The only thing I think is okay to ask for is food. But not like fancy expensive food, I mean the cheap stuff. Why? Because:
1. You’re more likely to be genuinely “in need” if you couldn’t even afford cheap food and you’re humble enough to ask for something that cheap.
2. Food is a life essential; if they don’t eat; it’ll affect their health, and what good is having a starving girlfriend?
3. It’s easy to repay and to return the favor. If you’re really that poor, you could cook food that’s around for them as your sign of your gratitude... whereas, if they bought you a LuLu Lemon coat, you couldn’t sew up another one as “compensation”.
4. Food leads to waiting... waiting leads to talking... talking leads to knowledge of the other person (and from there, it could go either way: good or bad)... and that leads to touching. *heh heh* (j/k... well, in certain cases it does... o_O)

So, to all you princesses (male and female) out there: back off, get your own _______! (please fill in blank with materialistic goods)

you there, with the coat

To the mysterious guy at Tim Hortin's/Wendy’s (Midland/Steeles),

Who are you?

You stood there at the Wendy’s doorway and didn’t come in. I saw you... and looked at you a few times because I thought I recognized you. You were looking in my direction for a while, but you didn’t come inside. In fact, by the 3rd time I looked up, you ran away... literally... I didn’t have my glasses on, so your face is a blur. (I had too much pride to wave to you, or put on my glasses and look at you again... probably thought I was checking you out if I did.)
I’m not saying I was being checked out or anything, I was just observing my surroundings. Maybe you were looking my way because I was looking at you? I was probably squinting to try to get my eyes to focus.

Anyway, if I do know you, message me! I know... “What are the chances?!” ~shrug~ BUT if you’re a slim, medium-height, Oriental-looking guy with a royal blue coat that did all that stuff I said above last night, and you know me; communicate to me!

(Although this post sounds like a dating service thing... I CAN ASSURE YOU, IT’S NOT!! Just my curiosity has peeked in this matter... so forgive me as to what this may sound like.)

how about you PING THIS!

I recently realized that repetitive noises drive me insane.

Like yesterday, when I was on the Steeles [E] bus (a lot of things happen on the bus for me because I spend an average of 410 minutes on them per week… o_O), I was sitting in the first row of double-seats after a long day of class; heading towards Timmy’s to study some more. In front of me was a divider that separates the double seats w/ the 3-“for old people”-seats that face the other direction.

Anyway, there was this brown girl (I say “brown” for descriptive purposes only) who looked like she was 16, yakking away on her cell phone. I don’t mind people talking on their cell phones... it gives me something to focus on (*ha ha* j/k). What I DID mind was that she put her boney-long-fingernailed hands on the divider – which again, was in front of me – and started flicking the metal pole. Over and over again... ping ping ping ping ping...

Out of courtesy, I was going to (kindly) ask her to stop after she was done talking on her cell... but by time I got to Leslie, I was ready to smack her hands so hard her fingernails would cry.

She didn’t put the phone down for a second. So, halfway through the ride (around Woodbine), I decided to pretend I was sleeping and “accidentally” let go of my umbrella and have it hit her hands. *heh heh* >=o) I executed my plan...

I missed.

It landed on the floor. Crap. And thus, she continued... flicking away at the pole for the rest of the 50 minute ride... from Finch Station, all the way to Midland...

inhale garbage

To the right is a picture of a hairy tongue caused by poor mouth hygiene and smoking. (yes, I had to get the grossest picture I could find...)

I think smoking is a very selfish habit/lifestyle. You’re basically saying, “I know it can do damage to me and the people around me, but I don’t care.”

People who whine and explain how they can’t quit and say how many times they’ve tried but failed... basically mean they didn’t try hard enough. I’ve heard stories of old men who’ve been smoking longer than I’ve been alive, and they can quit!

Every cigarette package has pictures of tar-ridden organs and harmful smoking facts... so not many people can say they don’t know its effects. Well, here is some information that should make one think twice about smoking:

1. Money Stats

• Tobacco accounts for over $9.56 billion in healthcare costs and lost of productivity in Canada
• In Ontario, the direct and indirect components of smoking-related costs are estimated to be US$2.91 billion. Associated with these economic costs are health-related harms: 69,318 hospital separations; 1,007,647 days stay in hospitals; 11,648 deaths resulting in more than 171,443 person-years lost.
• If instead of smoking 2 packs per day for 50 years, you could have had an estimated $1,000,000 if you invested it in a major tobacco company
• The average cost of treating squamous cell carcinoma of the head and neck (a cancer caused almost exclusively by smoking ) is $25,542 more than the cost of treating other comparable solid tumors

2. Smoker Stats

• Smokers will die an average of over 12 years sooner than non-smokers
• Over 90% of laryngeal cancers are caused by smoking
• Smoking causes 87% of all lung cancer cases
• Smoking is a major factor in impotence
• Tobacco use has been associated with premature aging and skin wrinkling
• Each year, smoking kills more people than AIDS, alcohol, drug abuse, car crashes, murders, suicides, and fires---combined!
• Smoking has been implicated in the risk of diabetes, obesity and mental retardation in the newborn
• Tobacco kills as many Americans as in all our wars combined. Over 1,000,000,000 people. Tobacco kills that many every 3 years!

3. Secondhand Smoke Stats

• An estimated 35,000 to 40,000 deaths from heart disease in people who are not current smokers (US only). Exposure to passive smoke can increase your risk of heart disease by 50%
• About 3,000 lung cancer deaths in nonsmoking adults.
• Other respiratory problems caused by smoking in nonsmokers include: Coughing, phlegm, chest discomfort, and reduced lung function
• 150,000 to 300,000 lower respiratory tract infections (such as pneumonia and bronchitis) in children younger than 18 months of age, which result in 7,500 to 15,000 hospitalizations
• Increased number and severity of asthma attacks in about 200,000 to 1 million asthmatic children

4. If you quit stats

• After 20 minutes your heart rate slows
• After 12 hours the carbon monoxide in your blood returns to a normal level
• Between 2 weeks to 3 months your lung functions improve and your risk of heart attacks declines
• Between 1 to 9 months your coughing and shortness of breath reduces
• After 1 year your risk of a heart attack in one half that of a smoker's
• Between 5 to 15 years your risk of stroke is the same as someone who does not smoke
• After 10 years your risk of lung cancer is one half that of a smoker's

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The best way to quit is to set a date and quit cold-turkey.
“If there’s a will, there’s a way.”

(Reference: http://www.tobacco-facts.info/ <-- I was going to source, but I got lazy.)

Chonovations

I was sitting in the back of the bus on my way to fellowship, when I realized how many more people we could fit on a bus if everyone was standing. And then I saw that usually 73% of everyone who takes the bus is more than capable of standing the entire trip [note: statistics may be inaccurate]. After that, I began thinking of practical bus designs... I will call my creation: The Chomobile. (yes, I ocassionally like to name things after myself... =oP)

But before I explain my design, I want to note a few things:

• The Chomobile is only meant for heavy people-traffic times/places – like during rush hour or going to popular locations (i.e. the CNE, universities at "perk" hours, etc.)
• If everyone stands, they’d burn more calories and thus, we’ll have a healthier nation! (To a certain extent anyway)
• Since almost everyone is standing, there wouldn’t be as many people who cut into the lines to get seats... and even if they do, those who were budded wouldn't care as much since there isn’t a lot to run after.

Okay, time to explain the design (following the green numbers labeled):
1. All those thin-table-looking things are ledges for people to put their bags or backpacks on while standing. People could also prop their kids on them if they’d like, but generally, adults wouldn’t do such a thing on a packed bus.

2. There are a bunch of seats in the front reserved for seniors, the less-physically capable people and pregnant women. I believe the drivers should do their best to enforce such deeds (on the Chomobile and on buses today). I noticed that there aren’t too many seniors who take the bus and those who do, sometimes prefer standing. Like this one time, I offered my seat to an elderly lady (because I was sitting next to her husband and there were no other seats left) and she didn’t respond to me. In fact, she turned to her husband, who again was sitting beside me, and said, “I just hate it when people offer their seat to me... What, do they think I’m old?!” o_O Now I'm scarred.

3. That’s a sample pole. Clearly, there will be more placed around the aisles if the Chomobile is actually made. And they will have the “Request Stop” buttons on them like the buses now have for easy, awesome stopping convenience.

4. Say goodbye to “Litter Here” labels with NO place to put our trash in on today’s buses! Introducing the new and improved on-the-bus garbage can! Wow, how did I think of this one... *heh heh*

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If I ever think of more inventions/innovations, I’ll be sure to post them. I had a lot more before I discovered they’ve already been invented... like my tear-away underwear for fast and efficient removal (for whatever reasons people need to remove their undies quickly... o_O)! Or my 2-in-1 pen and roll-on whiteout for those with small pencil cases and can’t fit everything! And my bite-sized deep-fried mini-cake bowls filled with ice cream (I wanted this to be my “signature dessert”... but I don’t think it’ll happen. -_-“)!

But anyway, that’s enough about that. Why am I still awake?! ...aw, who’s online at 5am??

the jerk update

After so many times of admitting to my gullibleness, it has come back to bite me in the ass again.
The other guys paid and are off the hook EXCEPT this one guy who only paid $60 for the whole time he’s been here.

This is what happened:
He has no money whatsoever. He has nothing but his passport, a change of clothing, a broken TV and VCR, bed sheets and a laptop. He owed us $320. He said there’s a buyer for his laptop and that he was going to sell it for $400, giving us $250 (since he claimed he’d need more money to “survive” when he left) and paying the rest later. He offered to sign a contract with all his information and stating that he would owe us the money within the next 3 months.

This morning at 10am, the buyer was supposed to come by to purchase the laptop. We had kept the laptop overnight incase he decided to take off on us. I was awake at 8am because I needed to study for a quiz at 11:30am. So the guy rings the doorbell and asks me to bring the laptop down so he can check things before the buyer came. I go down with the laptop and he begins to take it out of the case, plugging it in and starting it up. I tell him that I’m going to get my sister down to take care of everything, since I had to leave my house soon and she is responsible for handling the rent money.

I go upstairs and wake my sister up. She’s up and downstairs about 10 minutes after I had come up. He was gone. HE LEFT!! THAT ANAL PASSAGE LEFT!! THAT LYING, SELFISH, EVIL, DECEPTIVE PISS-OFF LEFT!!

I let my guard down for 10 minutes and I cost my mother $320 plus the agony she was put through over the past month because of this guy... ARGG!! Some daughter I am, eh?

Every person I talked to said I shouldn’t have left it with the guy... every single person. Let me tell you, it feels pretty crappy to hear this over and over again because I knew that fact way before anyone had to say it to me aloud. I get it people, I screwed up. I messed this crap up and I know it; just get off my case because there’s nothing I can do now but beat myself up inside for doing it. What I hate about this situation most is that I believed him... I believed everything he said he was going to do until I found out he screwed us over... -_-“ How do I change that?

"hungry, I come to you..."

Remember when I went to Nicaragua?

Well, to make a long story short --> the houses we had started are now FINISHED!
WOOT WOOT!

It’s such an amazing thing to be apart of... I urge you to go on one of these trips if you ever get the chance. You won’t regret it. Even if you’re eating beans every day and you hate beans; you’d still have a great time! ^__^

Oh, and I just discovered the “add pictures” button! Now my blogs can have a new and exciting dynamic to them! OoooOOoOOo. (Easily amused, I am.)

One more thing. Today was the first day in ages that I voluntarily watched TV... and of all the things I watched, it was a World Vision child sponsoring documentary-type thing. My goodness, I cried my eyes out. Now I’m seriously considering sponsoring a child. But since I have $0 income... I’ll have to contemplate as to how this will be funded.

God doesn’t reveal to me enough, just how blessed I really am.

stupid jerks - piss me off

There are 3 guys (jerks, if you will) who rented my basement last month. Only one of them has paid for this month, the other 2 have not. My sister who have been dealing with them didn’t get them to put down a deposit before they moved in because she “trusted” them... then these stupid jerks brings another friend to stay, so now there are 4 --> 3 of whom have not paid.

They smoke in the house after my mom continuously tells them not to. They leave lights on all the time. They washed 2 face towels in the washing machine under the “delicate” cycle. They invite friends to stay overnight. They go into our garage and messes things around. They’re loud and irresponsible. But most of all, THEY DON’T PAY THE RENT!

The way we have been operating with people who rent the basement thus far has been too relaxed. We don’t ask them so sign any contracts or anything so we don’t have any legal documents stating that they pay such an amount at such and such a time.

WHAT DO WE DO?! We want to kick them out, but how? Move all their stuff out into the lawn while they’re gone and change the locks? (<-- That’s what I suggested.) We’ve already told them to leave but there seems to be no signs of movement.

Does anyone know if we have a legal case? My mom says the “police” people always back up the renters; not the homeowners. Is that true? I don’t believe so because there are too many iffy situations to make a general claim like that, but she seems confident enough to not threaten to sue them. Can we sue them for trespassing? How do we get the rent money and have them leave?

The longer they stay, the longer their free-loading grows. PLEASE give us some advice!

What jerks. >=o(

the naked me

There were a series of events that happened to me. No, I didn’t get naked. So, I’ll tell you what happened first, and then explain.

Some years ago, I went kind of obsessed with losing weight. At the time, according to my BMI (body mass index), a “Do-It-Yourself Body-fat Percentage Test” I found online, my family (siblings especially), and the portrait media painted of the “ideal size” woman – I was fat. I told my best friend at the time (who was around the same size as me now that I look back at the photos) about my plumpness, but she told me I wasn’t.

About a year or so ago, I started doing some weight-watching again – but not for the same reasons; I wanted to be healthy. But when I mentioned to a few of my friends about my lifestyle changes, they said, “Julie, you’re not fat. You look fine – quit worrying so much.”

During the past summer, after a nice game of softball, the Lions and another team (I don’t remember exactly which one) did a devotional together. Our task was to go into groups of 4 or 5 and tell each other one bad thing, one good thing and one thing we would like to change about ourselves. I remember thinking really hard about the stuff I wanted to change, like my ears, my flexibility (or lack thereof) or improve some softball skill... but when it came time to share, a thought hit me and I said, “I wish I didn’t have any secrets.”

A month or so ago, in the Scarborough Grace Hospital where I volunteer, a middle-aged man kept watching me while I walked around and did my duties. He was waiting for the doctor to see him, so I assumed he had nothing better to occupy himself with. But after a good hour of observing, he finally came up, stared me straight in the eyes and said, “I just wanted to let you know that you’re beautiful.”

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Okay, I just want to make it clear that I’m not looking for any comments about my appearance. Like I’ve said blogs past, I can’t take criticism (negative or positive). So, please don’t say anything about that for my sake.

Now then, to tie everything up... after each of those scenarios, I found myself saying in my mind,
“That’s because you’ve never seen me naked.”
I still say that, actually. Sometimes even aloud when people I’m comfortable with make a comment about my looks. You don’t know what I hide... all the little deformities I may have. Apart of this blog entry, I was going to list out all my “not normal” physical characteristics of myself, but I was advised not to... because I wouldn’t know what that would accomplish. In fact, I don’t know what my main point is.

My thoughts are jumbled, but what I think I’m trying to say is... I may not look like the girl you may think I look like. Hum... sounds odd... how about this: we girls (although I can really only speak for myself now) hide a lot of ourselves to have ourselves believe we look better than we think we look when we’re absolutely naked. Huh... Okay, 3’s the charm, I’m going to try to make sense of my thoughts one more time: when it comes to appearance, there are many things you may not be able to see because we/I have mastered the art of disguising our/my “ugliness” that only we/I know exist. I know I’m probably scaring you with what “things” I may be hiding, but comparing myself to other naked women I’ve seen, I’m not a monster. But that doesn’t matter, the bottom line is... we’re all ugly. *ha ha* (kidding) I don’t know... dang, I shouldn’t have blogged. Do I make sense? Probably not. But I think I make sense, so I’ll just leave it at that.

End communication.

2-tier my butt

I love talking about the Canadian healthcare (HC) system. Anyone who has spoken with me about this topic knows that I am currently anti-privatization (present me with opposing evidence-based support and maybe I’ll look more favourably towards the private sector). I’ve had a lot of intriguing debates about it, especially with a number of people who have very strong views for pro-privatization.

My main reasons for my views on the “2-tier” public/private HC system
Many people believe that if we had a paralleling private system where patients can purchase the treatment they need; it can not only relieve them of the long waiting lists for themselves, but also allow those who are waiting be pushed up on the lineup.
It won’t work. Here’s why:

• Physicians and HC workers in the US (they have a fully private system) get paid almost twice the amount as the ones in Canada do. What will stop Canada’s physicians from transferring to the private hospitals with such incentives? And if they do pull physicians out of the public system, there would be just as much, if not more, waiting for those people who cannot afford private HC.
• It’s been shown that the care received in private systems does not match up to the care received in public system. I’m assuming it’s because they try to see as many patients as possible to maximize their pay (not diagnosing thoroughly), hiring not-as-skilled but less-expensive laborers (for housekeeping, kitchen staff, etc.) which may affect its cleanliness and overall efficiency, the less patients = more desperate for patients... and who knows what that might lead to.
• People waiting for organ transplants or hip (or other body parts) replacements aren’t suddenly going to experience an increase in the number of donors; they’re still going to have to wait.
• People complained when the government delisted some services off OHIP (e.g. eye examination, dentist checkups, etc.); would people not complain more when we need to pay for more services that are deemed “medically necessary”?
• A small hospital costs millions to operate. Who is going to fund the initial funding to build these private hospitals? I hear Alberta, who is currently trying to open Canada’s first private hospital, is asking the federal government for funding. Where does the government’s money come from? Taxes. Are we willing to pay more taxes, or reallocate funding from public services like education, to build hospitals for those who are wealthy enough to pay for expensive treatments (I say ‘expensive’ because generally, treatments are hundreds to thousands of dollars)?
• Can private HC not become for-profit? I don’t believe so. I think when shareholders, cost-savings, marketing, competition, wants/demands, and other economics’ terms get involved – it’s inevitable. What good is a for-profit HC system? We don’t know what we need when we’re sick; physicians tell us what we need. It’s the ultimate monopoly! I recently saw a video that stated that our HC system is a potential multi-trillion dollar market – it’s no wonder companies are trying to get a piece of the action! Especially those from the south of the border, trying to slowing move their way up into this “market”.
• This brings me to my next point... I don’t think healthcare is something to be purchased like any other commodity. It’s not our choice to get sick, we just do. And it’s not like we enjoy getting treatment. Health is something sacred and affects every aspect of our lives.
• Should those who richer be treated faster? Should those who have better insurance be treated better or faster than any middle class person who needs urgent care? Why is money a determining factor as to how others will live their lives? Is this fair? These are the types of questions that will be raised if a so-called “2-tier” HC systems stems in Canada. Not to mention this goes against the principles of the Canadian Health Act.

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I have a lot more to say... I’ll probably write it in my next post. Most of the points I made are backed by evidence-based literature. If I were a real geek, I would’ve referenced them... though I thought about it, I decided that sleep will help more in the long run.

One last point: The best way to help our HC system is by PREVENTION. (or get rid of the “free-loaders” who abuse the system by choosing to damage their health, then demand treatment for themselves when ill... but that’s not feasible.)

don't push

Here I am once more, walking my own ways
I don’t need your help, my wrongs I will pay
Yet I ache again and again
You hold out your hand,
But I push it away
Again and again

Here I am once more, choosing the path of sin
I turn my face away, from you I want to be hidden
Yet I fall again and again
You hold out your hand,
But I push it away
Again and again

Why do you keep trying?
Oh God, let me be!
I don’t deserve your love
I don’t deserve your love!
So please, please stop trying...

Here I am once more, a stranger in my mirror
I'm lost in my own act, only my name on the paper
And I cry again and again
You hold out your name
But I push it away
Again and again

Why do you keep trying?
Oh God, let me be!
I don’t deserve your love
I don’t deserve your love
So please, please stop trying...

But you chose to love me, knowing what’s in my heart
You chose die for me, knowing I may want us apart
I don’t deserve your love
But you said it’s okay...

Why do you keep trying?
Oh God, let me be!
I don’t deserve your love
But you said it’s okay...

You hold out your hand
I take it
I’ll stay.

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These are the lyrics of a song I wanted to write for God. But it'll be years before I can come up with any instrumental parts to it... maybe never. If society didn't limit the average length of songs to a few minutes, my song for/about God could be endless... there's just too much to write when it comes to the Lord Most High

funny how humans operate

Everyone thinks they make rational, objective, well thought-out decisions, whether they are big or small decisions. But let me tell you, I was enlightened recently... I’ll summarize my findings:

• The Anchoring Trap
  Is the population of Turkey greater than 35 million?
  What’s your best estimate of Turkey’s population?
  If you’re like most people, the figure of 35 million cited in the first question (a number chosen arbitrarily) influenced your answer to the second question. This question was asked to many groups of people; half the cases they used 35 million and the other half they used 100 million. As predicted, the answer to the second question increased by millions when a greater figure was used in the first question. This common phenomenon is known as anchoring. “When considering a decision, the mind gives disproportionate weight to the first information it receives. Initial impressions, estimates, or data anchor subsequent thoughts and judgments.”
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• The Sunk-Cost Trap
  Your friend needed a job and you decided to pull a few strings and ask a few favors from your boss to have him hired. Your friend isn’t the most reliable person and can’t cut it as the employee you made him out to be. What do you do? You try to teach him more, fix his mistakes, make excuses for him; pour enormous effort into improving the performance of an employee whom we knew shouldn’t have hired.
  Our past decisions become what economists term as sunk costs – old investments of time or money that are now irrecoverable. We know, rationally, that sunk costs are irrelevant to present decision, but nevertheless they prey one our minds, causing use to make improper decisions. Frequently, it’s because we are unwilling, consciously or not, to admit we made a mistake... especially if there are other people affected by your mistake. We become trapped by an “escalation of commitment” and try, consciously or unconsciously, to protect our earlier, faulty decisions.
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• The Confirming-Evidence Trap
  Your boyfriend just broke up with you and you needed to call someone to vent to. You decide to call one of your girl friends, whom you know wasn’t too fond of your ex-boyfriend to begin with, to get support and comfort from.
  Okay, I know that example is situational and when dealing with people, things are very complex. But the general idea behind this trap is that, when we believe something is the best decision and we’re looking for evidence and supporters, we tend to seek out the people who have similar ideas as us. “The confirming-evidence bias not only affects where we go to collect evidence but also how we interpret the evidence we do receive, leading us to give too much weight to supporting information and too little to conflicting information.”
  ---------------------------
• The Framing Trap 1 --> Gains vs. Losses
  Your father put you in charge of taking care of 3 boxes of merchandise each box worth $200. Somehow, the boxes got lost in the shipping, but the insurance company offers you 2 options:
  Plan A. This plan will save the merchandise of one of the 3 boxes, worth $200.
  Plan B. This plan has a 1/3 probability of saving all 3 boxes, worth $600, but has a 2/3 probability of saving nothing.
  Which plan will you choose?
  Most people in this type of study chose the “less risky” Plan A. But if we were to ask you to choose between:
  Plan C. This plan will result in the loss of 2 of the 3 boxes, worth $400.
  Plan D. This plan has a 2/3 probability of resulting in the loss of all 3 boxes, but has a 1/3 probability of saving all the merchandise, worth $600.
  In this framing, most people would choose Plan D. If you haven’t noticed, Plan A=Plan C, and Plan B=Plan D. As studies show, people are less risky when a problem is put in terms of gains (boxes saved) but riskier when a problem is posed in terms of avoiding losses (boxes lost).
  ---------------------------
• The Framing Trap 2 --> Different Reference Points
  You have $2000 in your checking account and you are asked the following question:
  Would you accept a 50-50 chance of either losing $300 or winning $500?
  Would you accept the chance? What if you were asked this question:
  Would you prefer to keep your checking account balance of $2000 or to accept a 50-50 chance of having either $1700 or $2500?
  Rationally speaking, your answers should be the same, but studies have shown that many people to refuse the 50-50 chance in the first question, but accept it in the second. Our different reactions result from the different reference points presented. The first frame, with its reference point of $0, emphasized incremental gains and losses – the thought of losing triggers a conservative response in many people’s minds. The second frame, with its reference point of $2000, puts things into perspective by emphasizing the real financial impact of the decision.

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There are many other traps that are mentioned, but I believe they are more obvious and recognizable which is why I didn’t include them. Just remember: the higher the stakes, the higher the risk of being caught in a psychological trap – the best protection against all psychological traps is AWARENESS.

Re: J. S. Hammond, R.L. Keeney, and H. Raiffa. “Thinking about the hidden traps in decision making.” Harvard Business Review. Sept-Oct 1998.

Pride: mother of all sins?

Today (Friday) for fellowship, we had a book study in our small groups. Included in my assembly are: Willie (co-leader), Tracy (committee member), Albert, Chris, Richard, and me (the few people missing: Antony, Ben and Judy).

After about an hour of sharing about our childhood life, Chris and Richard had to leave for worship practice... that’s when the real sharing began. (not saying there was anything wrong with the 2 who left; we just started to answer the questions that were set out for the night)

Anyway, the 4 of us had a very moving conversation... it’s been a long time since I was so indulged in a small group in this depth of intimacy. I loved it.
One of the questions was:
Have you ever done something (or not do something) to someone where it made you feel like the lowest person in the world?

You can imagine the type of discussion this was.

I was astounded by the humility of this group... sharing and confessing things a common person wouldn’t even say aloud. I’m also very proud of them. (I say “them” and not “us” because sadly, I am yet to be at that level of openness to share what is heavy on my heart...) The only problem is what happens when the rest of the group is there. Will we be as comfortable? Will people be able to share?

... I guess there’s nothing left to do but wait and see... but it’s amazing what happens when people lower their pride and take a step back to really analyze themselves and their situations. =o)

Things I’m looking forward to:

• Mac Friends Thanksgiving dinner
• Catching up with: James Lau, Allison (from Mac), my Accountability partners (Asako & Helen), Anita (from East York), Lions’ players I don’t see often
• Playing more softball
• Jewish holidays - no class
• Hearing from people in Nicaragua
• Sunday church service
• Celebrating sister’s and brother’s birthdays (bdays are: Sept 25, Oct 2, respectively)
• Playing volleyball
• The next small group meeting
• Having a long conversation with mother
• Sleeping with lots of thick/puffy blankets (having the window slightly open for a cool breeze)
• Getting to know someone a little better

... not having to worry about anything